Not Your Menorah!!!

2004-03-01T09:32:00.000-08:00

New Blog

For those of you who don't love me anymore and are just checking this blog out of sheer boredom, you have been missing out. I have a new blog, ya know! Live in the now! It's at http://www.realhorrorshow.blogspot.com

Go and see more Kyle there.

2003-11-20T14:17:00.000-08:00

Oy My Freakin Vey
Bad week and a half. Computer had some weird virus where my browser was hijacked. Got sick. I have a lot to work on, too. I wrote an entire act of my screenplay just this morning. I have this religion research paper due tomorrow that I have to finish right now. In fact, I'm waiting for another computer to open up because I sat down in the only open computer just to find out the reason it was open...the chair is broken. So, here I am in a broken chair writing to you, my faithful blog readers. Feel lucky. Oh God, I just remembered I have to write an opening prayer for the confirmation meeting tonight. Oh no, and I have to buy ice tea and soda.

Anyway, so I've been very busy this week so that's why I haven't written on this. In fact, i'm not even supposed to be online right now, I should be doing research. Oh, shit someone in my AAS class just IMed me and reminded me that I have to read our group paper and add commentary. I should do that now...

BUT, first I have to tell you that Michael Kamen died. He is one of my favorite film music composers, and on top of film he has won numerous Grammys and has been nominated for more than one Oscar. He has also worked (for those of you not familiar with movie scores) on projects with Metallica and Pink Floyd (as orchestrator for Metallica songs such as "Bleeding Me," and orchestrator for Pink Floyd's "The Wall").

But, I must return to work. Check my blog in the next day or so and I will have a tribute to Michael Kamen including pictures, filmography, and music.

2003-11-12T12:51:00.000-08:00

To Vote or not To Vote?
Hey all. Just got back from having Thai food with Claudia. I never knew there was a Thai restaurant so close to my house. Anyway, I had a dilemme today. It's election day here at CSUN and I had to vote for Homecomming Queen and King and junk. I didn't even know we had a Homecomming here, but apparently we do. Anyway my friend Katie has been running for a long time and she gave me candy and everything and I told her I'd vote for her. But, recently I saw that another friend of mine, Angie, was running. So, here I am, going to vote for Katie and on my way to the voting booth, Angie stops me and says to vote for me and she hands me a flyer and everything. But, I'm a sucker, you see. She's actually pretty cute and she was all taking me by the hand and walking me over to the booth and she's so freakin sweet that I was totally ready to vote for her. But, when it came time to pick the name I didn't know what to do. Should I vote for my friend Katie who is already involved in AS and is a shoe-in to win...or should I vote for Angie, the girl who is a freshman here at CSUN and if she won it'd be like the Cinderella story? Should I vote for Katie, who is a fellow CTVA major, or should I vote for Angie, who was the first student at Reseda High to complement "Indiana Schwartz"? It actually took me quite a while to figure out what to do. I mean, Katie's really cool...but with Angie I got suckered into the whole cutsie-pie thing.

BUT, the great thing about voting is that it's private and no one will know. And my readers are no exception. So, my choice will remain a secret. Don't you just love democracy?

2003-11-07T11:33:00.000-08:00

Movie Theater Dictionary
If you haven't already, take a look at our "Movie Theater Dictionary." Michael, Chris, and I came up with the terms, and Michael did most of the writing. It's pretty funny, actually. You've all noticed the person who feels he or she has to tell everyone in the theater what just happened or the person who seems fine in the beginning of the movie but then starts caughing, sniffling and sneezing the second the main titles come up. All these are covered in the dictionary...go check it out. Next time you're in the theater you'll be able to put a name to those annoying faces. Also includes general movie theater lingo, unrelated to people...but the entire moviegoing experience itself.
Link on the left under "funny stuff"

2003-11-05T11:37:00.000-08:00

The 5 Finger Discount Shouldn't Count for The Count of Monte Cristo.
Who steals a book from the library? I mean, they know the beeper thingy will go off when they try to walk out the front door, so why even bother? I mean, if you're in the library to begin with you're obviously somewhat cultured or at least know what you're doing. Who do you think you're going to fool?

But for some reason, I hear that freaking alarm go off all the time...because people actually try to steal something (like if they don't get it for free anyway) or because they "accidentally" placed a book in their backpack (more like dumbass can't keep their materials straght). The third reason the alarm goes off all the time is because a lot of things set it off. You might have a keychain made out of some cheap third world imitation silver and it reads it and the alarm sounds. This is always an embarassing moment. The alarm goes off and you don't know why, so you look around to find out who it is, only to find that all eyes are on you. The Lord of the Rings geek working at the counter asks you in his/her most intimidating manner to step aside and open your bag (NOTE: Sometimes this geek will be replaced by a hot chick with that "smart" look to her that guys find irresistable. If this happens, then your embarassment can be turned into a wondeful flirting tool, but for convienience sake, let's say it's the Star Trek mamma's boy who asked you to step aside). So you open your bag and they look at all the crap you have in there: books in bad condition, papers strewn about and crumpled, old candy wrappers, porn (more often then not), etc. They see it and pretend not to notice because they're not supposed to care, but for some reason you find yourself making excuses for why things in your backpack look like shit. "Yeah, I've been meaning to take that out of there," and, "Oh, that's from this morning...." Then of course, they don't find anything so they attribute it to cheap metal (or, if it's the dweeb with a "Live Long and Prosper" shirt on, he'll probably make a joke about a metal plate in your head or something...that's when you kick him in the nuts). Then you take one last look around you, give the onlookers the stinkeye, and do one of two things: a.) walk out, hoping no one recognizes you, or b.) walk out pissed and start complaining to someone who saw the whole ordeal so they don't think less of you.

Have you ever walked through one of those things at like a music store and it goes off because the lady forgot to scan the tag? That's such bullshit. You walk through the gate and the alarm goes off and you think you did something wrong, you go through this whole thing where people look at you like you're a freakin murderer, and the lady just waves it off and says, "eh, go on through." You bitch, it's your fault I was made to feel uncomfortable. Go on through eh? Why don't you kiss my ass! And on the other hand, these people don't know me. They ALWAYS let you through at grocery stores or music stores because they fuck up so many times and they're used to it, but what if I actually stole something? I mean, sure I'll buy one or two things for really cheap like Tai-Bo viedos or a Hanson CD, but I could be stashing the good shit in my pocket and you'll never know.

My solution: frisk everyone everytime they walk out of anywhere. Sure, it's a minor inconvenience for me because I don't steal books from a place that gives you books for free, but it's a surefire way to stop stupidity in this country. And while they're at it, they can demote/fire Trekkie boy and promote hot librarian chick to head of the frisking department.

2003-10-29T11:50:00.000-08:00

Ms. X
A friend of mine, we shall call her "Ms. X," wrote me an e-mail regarding my "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" post I wrote the other day. Apparently, someone took it to heart, like I knew someone would. Let me tell you something, Ms. X:

I think the world should be the way I think it should be. Now, of course I realize that using the word "should" twice in a sentence is inherently problematic, but it's true. The world would be a much better place...as Wacko Jacko once said, "a better place for you and for me and the entire human race." Of course, if the world were the way I want it to be, there would be no Wacko Jacko, but that's another story. You see, I know who I am. Yea, it sounds trite and all, but I do. I know what I like and don't like, I know what's good for me, and I realize that I have no problems. As I said before there are two kinds of people in this world: people who realize that they have no problems, and people who aren't happy unless they do have them. But then I have to stop and realize that "the world" in general is basically the second type of person. The world doesn't know what it wants and the world can't make sense of itself. I love the world, I love it to death, but sometimes I think its gotta clean it's act up quick or I'm gonna go nuts. I'm not one to change because the world says so...you remember, I'm the one who wouldn't wear green during spring because I was pissed that it was still cold. You might write that off as "crazy old Kyle," but you have a right to be frustrated with the world. I have the right to disagree with the way things are, but I know I can't do anything about it. I mean, I can try...I can make movies and try to reach people and tell them something...I can help at confirmation and try to make a difference in people's lives...I can do all these things, but in the end it's to no avail. I don't mind this, however, because I know I'm in the right. People are going to continue to walk up escalators, balloons will always pop, and people are going to insist on eating only one Pop Tart even though it comes in a package of two. And I know that not wearing green in the spring makes no difference to anyone, and I know that Krispy Kreme will not go under just because I won't eat there, but you know what? I'm not going to stop being weird neurotic Kyle just because I can't do anything about it...that's who I am. I'm going to continue to write about your boyfriend and I'm going to continue to write about types of people that bug me and I'm going to continue to condemn French people because I think I should be able to.

The world should be the way I think it should be, but it won't...so I'll accept it, move on, and say what I want. People will hear what I have to say and whether or not they want to listen is up to them. If you're offended by what I have to say, I'm sorry, but it's really tough luck. What you have to understand is that it's important to be off the wall in this world. It's important not to be fake and it's important to stand up for principles and beliefs. I pick on specific people, yes. I do it because I feel what I say is valid, just as what you do that pisses me off is valid. It doesn't mean we have to agree, and it doesn't mean you have to be upset with me.

So, I'll keep talking about things that are personal to you, "Ms. X," but know that nothing that I say is intended to offend. It's important to me.

2003-10-26T17:19:00.000-08:00

IMPORTANT INFO:
Everyone come to my blog on THURSDAY, OCTOBER 30, 2003. It will be a very special day for my blog. I will be celebrating the year anniversary of my blog with an exclusive contest AND I will be writing about something very important...and my pick of the week will be a person...interesting, eh? And I'll tell you this: my "Person of the Week" is someone I know...it could be YOU! Come find out who it is...see ya Thursday...

2003-10-25T09:53:00.000-07:00

Pick of the Week

Go see Kill Bill.

It's amazing.

It's my new favorite movie.

Do you not hear this awesome music?

You like anime? Kung fu movies? Quentin Tarantino movies?

Go see Kill Bill.

Kyle's 4-Star Rating: 4

2003-10-23T15:50:00.000-07:00

Hmm...ok I know I'm gonna piss people off with this post. Now, maybe it's just my mood today, but little things are starting to get to me and I have to tell you people what I think. I hate how people's lives become their boyfriend/girlfriend. My girlfriend (when I get her) has to be abnormal, otherwise I feel damn bad for her because I'm tellin ya right here and now, quotes of you and me telling each other how much we're in love are not going to be all over my away message, and I sure as hell am not going to waste blog space on you. And when I mention you to my friends, I'm going to address you by name. People always do this and it bothers me. If I asked you if you saw Kill Bill and you answered, "Yeah, I saw it with my boyfriend/girlfriend," I hate you. I didn't ask who you went with, and even if I did, I'd like to know who you went with and not what their relationship to you is. I don't tell people, "Yea, I saw Kill Bill with my best friend," I say, "I saw Kill Bill with Michael." End of story. You all know who Michael is, 'nough said. But no, people have to drop little messages - the message being, of course, "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend, so HA!"

Now, I know what you are thinking. "Kyle doesn't understand because he doesn't have a girlfriend...and when if he ever does, I feel bad for her because he won't treat her right." If you honestly think that, I hate you. My girlfriend is not going to be used as some sort of sick tool in my persuit of self-assurance. If I go around exploiting a private individual relationship, I've got some pretty big personal/mental problems and I'd seek help.

Another thing (if I've offended you already, don't stop reading...this is important): I've actually had conversations with people where they have told me that the best thing going on in their life is their boyfriend/girlfriend. Now, I'm supposed to be 2 things when I hear this: A.) I'm supposed to be sympathetic towards your "turbulent" life, and B.) I'm supposed to have some sort of "awww" reaction to the amount of love you have for your significant other. I don't feel this way, however. I feel these two things instead: A.) I feel frustrated that you're so dissolusioned that you actually think you have nothing going for you in life, when everyone I know (NO exceptions) has SOOO many things to feel good about and thankful for in their life. This offends me personally because I have worked hard on our relationship to make you my friend...a good enough friend that you tell me the way you feel about your life...and you don't even acknowledge our relationship as a high point in your sad life. And B.) I feel a certain disdain for your boyfriend/girlfriend for allowing you to continue believing that they are your only source of refuge in the world...and that they keep you thinking that you're only happy with them. Well, what happens when something happens? What happens when they leave you?

Sorry, folks...I'm not talking about everyone...but a few people in particular have quite a bit to think about.

This is your friend, signing off.

2003-10-23T14:28:00.000-07:00

Right on the nose! Ya sucker...
I know when I see quiz results, I don't even look at what the person has to say afterwards, but I left a little message at the bottom of this one. So, read it...you won't regret it :)

You come from the Ocean. You've always been drawn
to the sea, the sound of the waves, the crystal
blue water, near the sea is where you belong.

Where Did Your Soul Originate?
brought to you by Quizilla

This is one of the stupidest quizes I've ever taken. Talk about trite. And I mean, what's the point of one of these quizes if you know what you're gonna get? AND why is it that the choices they give you are sooooo stupid. I don't think there's ever been an answer selection in one of these things that I've actually agreed with. "My favorite color is: a.) Pitch black, b.) Blood Red, c.) Seafoam, d.) Moss Green..." How about fuckin blue? "I wish I were: a.) Taller, b.) Sexier, c.) More outgoing..." How about smarter so next time I won't be drawn into taking another one of these damn quizes that people take seriously and say, "OOOH, they described me so well...yea, they were sure right on when they say I'm most like Donnie Whalberg...those other New Kids on the block are sooo unlike me." Do you know who makes these quizes? Regular people like me and you, not people who actually know what they're talking about. Hell, there's a quiz out there that tells you what muppet you're most like...wanna know who wrote that one? Michael! See, anyone can do it...Hell, the next time a quiz tells you that you're sould originates from the ocean or the middle ages or 7-fuckin-11, just remember that it was probably written by some 40 year old metrosexual (which is another blog entry in itself).

I got a quiz for ya. Go HERE. Enjoy!

2003-10-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

Halls of Montezuma? Nah. Anchors Away is more like it!

There's some sort of gathering in front of the Student Services Building today. It has to do with the military, I think, because I saw a sign for the Marine Corps and as I walked by, these two girls were talking and one of them said something like, "Oh, and then, the Marine guy brought his buddies over and so I was like talking to five Marines!" And the other one made some girl remark about what a lucky bitch she was, but she might as well have said, "Wow, testosterone-driven psychopaths with hot bods and a uniform make me gaga!"

I'll let you in on a little secret. Marines are crazy. Trust me, you don't want to meet these people in dark alleys; I'm speaking from experience. You see, the military is like a neighborhood. And, like in any neighborhood, there's always certain types of people. Well, the Marines are like the one neighbor who buys guns and hosts Super Bowl tail-gate parties and uses these things to prove to himself that he can be around other men without being homophobic, when in actuality that's exactly what he is - one big sterotype for a homophobe. In essence, they're one big stereotype for a "man's man," which inludes the "stupid oaf" stereotype as well. I've known many Marines and let me tell you, that's all they're meant for for. These are the people who join the military simply to kill and be around the other brutes of the species.

Sometimes, these men are confused with those who join the Army, but that's just not true. There are two types of men who join the Army. The first is the Forrest Gump variety. I say this because Forrest Gump joined the Army because when he signed up for military service, the only branch that accepts people in his IQ bracket is the Army. And, in the Gump group I'm including those who think that the Army is the only branch of service anyway; as if the Army was the same as the Navy or Marine Corps. The other type of Army member is actually one of the most respectable of military personnel, and that is the soldier who joins the Army because that's where he feels he can make the most difference. This is the man who recognizes that he would not be meant for the insensity of the Marines, yet longs for making a here and now difference in any way he can.

I feel bad for the Coast Guard. When people think of the Coast Guard, automatically people think GAY. But, in actuality these are some of the brightest individuals. They are getting a lot done. Technically, they are a branch of military service, yet most of the time they are serving community efforts. Plus, they get to spend ALL of their time on the water. Smart cookies, the Coast Guard. Not to mention it's the most lax of all the branches. Although, because of this, they have sort of the reputation of being nothing more than a society of life guards. In that sense, I think they get a bad rep. Oh, well...long live the Coast Guard.

Two types of people join the Air Force, one type of person stays. First, there's the type that signs up to be a pilot, and when they see that it takes years before they can actually fly anything, they drop out. Then, there's the type that are highly intelligent and ambitious. The Air Force is where most of our military intelligence personnel comes from. It's tough in the Air Force and that means that it cuts all the fat, leaving only the brightest top-notch individuals. The only downfall of this branch is that they're not really viewed as being set in military units. For, example, when you think of the military you think of men marching in formation. You don't see this too much in the Air Force, so I think there's a sense that they aren't really included in the military in the way that the Marines are.

The heart of the military has been, is now, and always will be the Navy. Navy personnel are the ones who are passionate about the military, but instead of being stupid and choosing the Marines, they are smart and choose to be a part of an organization that serves as the backbone of our entire military. Did you know that the Marines were established UNDER the Navy to facilitate Naval efforts? It's true. The men in the Navy know that they are serving their country just as much as those in the Army, maybe even mosreso, and they know that unlike the Army, they are guaranteed three square meals a day, they'll never be out in the desert sands, and they can work with the most cutting edge technology out there today. The Navy is for people with smarts. The Navy has men who have the intelligence to be engineers, architects, biologists, doctors. AND it has room for those who are smart enough to carry out secret operations with the Navy Seals. The most intense military position out there today is a Sea Bee - which is like being a Navy Seal construction worker - yet most of the time you never even hear about them because they're operations are usually Top-Secret. I can go on about the Navy, but that's a whole blog to itself.

In closing, in the neighborhood of the US Military, I think that girls should be gawking at the Doctor/Engineer with high political power and a yacth instead of Joe Marine over there who throws a tail-gate party every Superbowl/July 4/Memorial Day.

2003-10-16T10:38:00.000-07:00

Trouble

I tried to think clearly. What I didn't notice until now was that the alarm lights were flashing bright blue and an ear-piercing tone pulsed with every flash. To the right, the guard trapped behind the plexiglass doors was fumbling with his light pistol. It wouldn't fire, of course, because the xenonuclear field was turned off, but soon more guards would come and that would change. I had to get to the generator somehow, but that would have to wait for later.

I ran past the generator and into a system of corridors. This was where the functions of the ship were regulated. On either side of me were pannels of wiring. I knew that somewhere in these tunnels was a way out, it was only a matter of finding them before reinforcements came.

The flashing lights stopped. The screeching alarm halted. The regular system lights came back on full. That meant only one thing: more guards had come. The xenonuclear field was back online. And here I was, trapped in a corridor. I stopped and listened. I heard running in the distance. A loud hiss as they let out the trapped guard. Orders being yelled for guards to search for me this way and that. I quickened my pace through the tunnels and lightened my steps. Soon, I heard nothing.

Suddenly, as I passed through an open corridor, a beam of light shot past my face. I dropped to the ground and slid myself behind the nearest wall. I turned in the direction the shot had come from. There were three fully armored guards. The one who had taken the shot at me was being yelled at by the one in command. Of course! We were right at the hull of the ship. Through one of these three-inch thick walls was open space. They wouldn't fire at me in here. I got to my feet, but they spotted me and pulled out their batons. The tips glowed bright red. I ran deeper into the corridors.

The three guards persued me closely. The tunnels grew darker: I was entering the life-system control pannels of the ship. Soon the wiring around me turned to tubing. As the guards behind me grew closer, they swung at me with their batons. I heard the electrical currents behind me from the tips of their truncheons. Knowing they were close, I grabbed one of the tubes to my right and yanked it out of the wall. Right away, a gas began to shoot out, filling the corridor with vapor. I dropped to the floor and as the guards behind me kept running, I stuck my leg in their path. I felt one of them trip over me, and I heard the others trip over him. The only thing I could see through the vapor was the glowing red tips of their batons. I grabbed one and swung aimlessly at the others. I heard screams as I hit each of them with my red electrically-charged tip. Three guards down.

Yet, with my persuers knocked out, I still heard stomping. More were comming from at least two directions. I continued into the maze of corridors. In a few seconds, I was clear of the vapor and I could see again. What I found, though, I didn't like. The wires and tubing around me had dissappeared. Around me were smooth metal walls. Soon there would be nowhere to go. I heard guards ahead to my right, so I turned left. As soon as I rounded the corner, I was met by a guard with his baton. I ducked as he swung the glowing tip. I grabbed his arm mid-swing, but he was too powerful. He came right back at me with his other arm.

I felt a sting of pain as his massive robotic arm struck my face. I was knocked to the ground and slid into a wall. The world began to spin and black blotches appeared in my vision. I turned my head and saw the guard walking toward me. I turned the other way to run, but I couldn't get off the ground. I began to crawl away from the guard as fast as I could, but I heard him comming closer and closer. Just then, I spotted something in the distance. It was a spacesuit. Escape seemed very possible once more. I turned to meet the guard face to face. He was already standing over me. He raised his baton high in the air, ready to strike down at me. I reached to his waist and pulled out the light pistol. The guard hesitated as I aimed the pistol not at him, but at the wall above him. He looked up and knew what I was doing. Right as he yelled at me to stop, I fired the pistol at the ceiling.

The shot pierced the wall and the world around me became a vacuum. The hole in the wall lead right out to open space, and that merciless space began sucking everything into it. The corridor became a wind tunnel. I felt myself being drawn toward the hole. My body began to fly up, but I grabbed a nearby rail. The guard did the same. As my fingers began to burn from the pain of hanging on, the guard had no trouble holding on at all; his colossal robotic arms were meant to grasp and never let go if needed be.

The guard looked over at me. He bagan inching closer and closer to me, sliding his hands along the rail. When he got close, he let go with one hand and reached for mine. He was going to pull my hands off the railing! Just as his arm swung down to hit my hand, I let it go. With one of my hands now dangling free, I reached to his belt and grabbed his back-up baton. I clicked it on, and the tip began to glow. The guard stopped and looked at me. If I could see through his visor, I would have seen his face filled with fear. I swung down as hard as I could and hit his hand with the end of the baton. His robotic arm began to spark and smoke. The smoke was sucked back in a stream towards the unrelenting force of space. With a yell, the guard couldn't take it anymore. He let go with both hands and flew back. His body was sucked into the hole, but he was too large. He was now blocking the hole with his body.

With the guard plugging the hole, the suction stopped and I dropped to the floor. I got to my feet and began running towards the spacesuit. I heard the guard rithing in pain. Right about now his insides were being sucked out of him. Soon, his body would collapse and the hole would be open again. I would be next if I didn't hurry.

I unhooked the spacesuit from the wall and quickly put it on. I put the guard's baton in my belt, just to be safe. I noticed that the hook that the suit hung on was attatched to a ladder. The ladder lead up into the ceiling where there was a pannel. Next to the pannel was a glass box with a lever. A cable was hooked to the pannel and ran down to the floor. The cable must have been twenty-five feet long, easily. I grabbed the cable and hooked myself to it. Just as I did this, behind me, the guard's body collapsed and was sucked entirely through the hole. The suction in the corridor began again and I flew back towards the hole. I quickly grabbed onto the ladder. I worked my way up the ladder towards the pannel. I grabbed the baton and bashed the glass box. I let go of the baton and reached forward with all my might. I pulled the lever.

The pannel flew open and I was flung through it into open space. I flew upwards rapidly, when all of a sudden I felt a jolt as the cable stopped me. I was now floating in space, twenty-five feet away from the outside of the Spacestation Scartaris, and the only thing holding me onto civilization was a wire cable.

Now I have some real trouble ahead of me.

What will happen to our hero next? Will he find a way back onto the ship? Will he ever find a way to gain his freedom? Find out in the next chapter of the riviting saga that is...
Scartaris.

On Thursday, September 25th, Kyle posted:

The Break

Space. Somewhere deep in the forgotten Trapezium Galaxy, the once famous Space Station Scartaris serves now only as a floating prison. This is where I am being kept. They tell me I'm doomed to spend my dying days here behind these polymetal alloy bars, and I don't even know why. How I even got here, I'm not sure. I only know that I must find a way out.

Directly to the right of my cell, there is a room with transparent Plexiglas doors. Inside those doors is a dome held in place by two steel arms coming down from a ceiling so high one can barely see it when looking up. The dome, however, is about 6 feet in diameter and about a yard off the ground. This is the generator: the life force of the ship. This is must be the answer.

The guards walk up and down the cellblocks like clockwork on the quarter hour. Armored from head to toe, there isn't one apparent Achilles Heel on them. You can't even look into their eyes, for they're hidden by the blood red visors on their pitch-black helmets. The state of the art power packs on their backs powered the light pistols they carried in their massive, robotically enhanced arms. You could tell they were recently issued because of the blue luminescent lights on the packs. That was a new feature. The guns would only fire in the presence of xenonuclear power, but they were perfect for space combat.

But no matter how perilous the guards try to make my situation seem, and how futile any attempt to escape would be, I think I might have found a way out of the cell, at least. You see, what they didn't count on was keeping a prisoner who knows his way around a Federal Space Station. In my past, I was a Lieutenant for the Federation, and if there was one thing I knew, it was the mechanics of the Scartaris. The ship's generator doors were guarded by a fail safe. If something were to go wrong with the generator? A power surge, perhaps? The electromagnetic field created by the generator would collide with the particles of the xenonuclear field. If this happened, a chain reaction would occur that would blow the ship to oblivion, leaving nothing but dust particles and a hell of a hole in gravitational fabric. To avoid this, everything on the generator deck that is powered by xenonuclear power has to be shut down when the generator doors are opened. Since the late 22nd century, though, basically everything on a ship is powered by xenonuclear power, so once the generator doors are opened, the lock mechanisms on the doors to my cell would freeze. I saw my chance.

It was Day 13 of the week, which meant only one guard was on duty. This is because supply ships come on Day 13, and they need all the hands they can get on upper decks. This also meant that the guard on duty would have to check the generator, if needed. It was my lucky day ?the guard received a call on his radio. As the guard walked down the aisles, he peeked into every cell. What he didn't notice was that I had unfastened the support bar for my bunk and had it set in the corner. The guard stepped in front of the first set of generator doors. When the doors opened and the light flickered, I knew it was time. I grabbed the support bar and bashed the lock to my cell. With surprising ease, the cell door swung open. The guard at the generator doors turned at the noise, but he wasn't able to do much - the fail-safe on the doors forced them to shut, locking the guard in the generator room. I was free, for the moment. Now to get the hell out of here.

Where will our hero go from here? Will he escape from Scartaris? Find out more in the next exciting chapter of...

Scartaris

2003-10-10T11:08:00.000-07:00

Acadea Monkey
Well, lucky for you guys I've fallen back into the habbit of posting daily to semi-daily. Only thing is that there's not much to report. Yesterday I went to visit the Acadeca team at Reseda. They are lookin pretty good...lots of nice new kids and some great speeches. Deep is still there and he's sort of taken the helm as the veteran decathlete. His sister also wants to join the team and she's got a great speech. She'll get a gold. Anywho I showed them The Monkey's Curse and it got a great reaction. I love it when I can tell when the reactions are going to occur. Like the biggest reaction is during the scene where I'm in the tub (no, for those of you who haven't seen it, I'm not taking a bath). Whenever that part comes up, I wait in anticipation and when it gets a good reaction, I'm so happy. It's the best feeling in the world...knowing that something you've made really affects these people...even if it is just to make them laugh a little. That's why I want to make movies. I want to get people to react to something I've done...so that I can reach them somehow...so that I can get them to experience things that I feel are important. Even though The Monkey's Curse isn't really important, it's a start. Who knows where I'll go from here?

2003-10-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

actually, this e-mail appeared to be in some Asian figures, but I guess it doesn't tranfer over in the posts.

2003-10-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

Michael recieved an odd e-mail and posted it on his blog. Well, let's see who get's weirder e-mail, Michael. This one I got said it was from "KooolKyle" and the subject was "KooolKyle...2003 ASP¼ÜÔO½ÌŒW / ¾ŽÝ‹Ü›ów / ³ÌÊ½ÔÊ¼™n¹âµú"

The e-mail as I recieved it:
2003 ASP¼ÜÔO½ÌŒW / ¾ŽÝ‹Ü›ów / ³ÌÊ½ÔÊ¼™n¹âµú

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2003-10-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

Wha?
I just read the synopsis for the new Spielberg movie, Terminal. Sounds dumb. I don't know...I mean I'm sure that Spielberg will make something out of it, but apparently it's about a European immigrant played by Tom Hanks. Ok, stop right there. Tom Hanks is the American everyman...he's gonna be a European in World War II era? Whatever...let's move on. So, apparently this immigrant flees his country because it was ravaged by the war. He gets on an airplane, but by the time he reaches America, his country is no longer a country so all of his passports are void. Therefore, he can't go into America and he can't go back to Europe, so he has to live in an airport terminal. Ok sounds sorta bland, but here comes the dumb part. What happens is that while living in the airport terminal, he befriends an airport emplyee and falls in love with a flight attendant played by Catherine Zeta-Jones. Sounds like a cooky comedy, doesn't it? I mean the only thing that would push this over the edge is if Bernie Mac was cast as the zany airport attendant he made friends with...oh wait...Spielberg actually cast Bernie Mac for the role! But because of contract complications, Bernie had to turn it down. Now, if this movie were a cooky comedy, it might even make a good one, but no...it's categorized as a Romance/Drama. STUPID! Now, this is based purely on the synopsis, and I have full confidence in Spielberg...but all I have to say is he's gonna have to work some pretty impressive magic to clear my preconception of this movie/farce.

Again, my confidence in Spielberg is not waning in any way...just take a look at something I wrote when his last film was about to be released...

On Friday, December 6, 2002, Kyle wrote...
Ok yea...last night at confirmation people were very mean to me. Joyce, Michelle, Pia, and Sakura all came up to me and were telling me that they thought Catch Me If You Can looks like a stupid movie. I mean, they actually had the audacity to come up to me and say that a Spielberg movie looked like crap! And they were really going at it, too..."I can't believe Spielberg would make that...it looks like his worst movie...why did he pick Leonardo?" I think one of them even made a crack about Tom Hanks, although I couldn't be sure because I started to get dizzy at about that point. And they kept going on and I couldn't even find the words to defend the movie I was so distraught! I got mad and slammed some papers on a nearby table and tried to run away from them, but they kept comming! Finally, Joyce said that they were just kidding. I didn't believe her at first, but then she said, "Yeah, your mom told me that if we wanted to make you really mad, all we have to do is make fun of Catch Me If You Can." Knowing how devious my mother can be at times, I beleived them...but I was still wary of them the whole night.
I'm just glad I didn't have nightmares...

2003-10-07T14:13:00.000-07:00

Sick Blubber
Ah, the worst feeling in the world is being almost sick. You know what I mean? Like when you get the scratchy feeling right in the back of your throat where it's still nasaly and you just know that within 24 hours you are going to have a full-on cold. That freakin sucks. I'd rather be sick in bed with a fever than go through the stage of "almost sick." It is terrible on so many levels. One, because it's not like you feel sick, but there's this discomfort in the back of your throat that is just a bitch. And two, that feeling in your throat is like a death sentance. "I know I'm going to have a cold," you think to yourself, "There's no way around it." That sucks ass.

That was me yesterday morning. And today, as expected, my cold has now taken over. I'm on drugs, which is always nice. I took a lot of stuff that I can't even pronouce last night that my parents had in their varitable pharmacy of perscrition drugs and I slept pretty well. Still have a slight fever, 99.8, and I can feel it. Freakin chills. And with all this I still had to go to school today because I can't miss my screenwriting class. If it were some BS class I wouldn't mind, but I needed to be there.

I hate being sick. Sick. What a word. It's "ick" with a hissing sound at the beginning. What a horrible word. I wonder where we get that from. "Malade" is sick in French. That one sounds ok, but then of course, everything sounds better in French...that is, unless it's spoken by an actual French person. French people gross me out. I've already told you the reasons I hate France and I stand by that. Why do they get all the nice words? We get "sick" and "blubber." What's with the word blubber? Why do we have to sounds like studdering idiots every time we talk about whales? On one hand, the english language has such wonderful words, and on the other hand we have sick, blubber, and "fickle." Fickle? Might as well be speaking German, for christ sake.

2003-10-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

Maddox gets me into sooo much trouble
Hey people. Have you ever been somewhere really quiet and you saw or thought of something really funny and you laugh out loud and all these people look at you? I hate when that happens. I was just looking at something on the internet that was possibly one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life and I laughed out loud for a second and the people next to me shot me the stink-eye. Then, I continued to reas the page and I started to laugh even harder. One of the people in the next row left, possibly because of me. So, I had to stop reading the page. So, basically I'm just writing you to tell you that you HAVE to check out this page, it's hilarious.

http://maddox.xmission.com/irule.html

Wonderful. Later.

2003-10-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

No Roller Skates in Hometown Buffet!
So, I'm walking, right? I'm in Sierra Hall on Wednesday and I'm walking to the restroom minding my own business when Rollerskate Guy rolls by. For those of you who don't know, Rollerskate Guy is a man who has to be in his 50's who dresses like a hippie, has long grey hair, and glides around school on old fashioned roller skates with red wheels. Now, I notice Rollerskate Guy because I think it's always funny to see him, but this time he looks at me, smiles and nodds as he zooms past. I sort of nodd back, not wanting to offend, but I had no idea why he nodded at me. Then, he says, "Ozzy Rules man, YEAH!" Then I realized what happened. I was wearing my new favorite shirt. It's a baseball tee that reads "Ozzy Rules." Apparently, Rollerskate Guy thinks he has some sort of connection with me and he felt it was appropriate to embarass me in front of the men's bathroom, of all places. Now, normally I wouldn't mind this so much. When I wear my "Half of me is 90% Irish" T-shirt, I like to get comments. In fact, I like the random run-in when it involves a compliment of some kind, it's the only kind of run-in I appreciate. But, I was bothered by this comment. I mean, think about it - this guy was probably around when Black Sabbath was just getting started and he probably stayed up late listening to Ozzy records back when he was still young and popular. I'm wearing the shirt because it's vintage. So, the fact that this old, creepy dude thinks that we can be buddies or something just because I like baseball tees and he did drugs in the 70's really bothered me. I mean, this guy was probably the same guy who offered pot to me and my father at the Black Sabbath reunion concert...and that was 5 years ago, which means he was like 49 at the time.

Another reason why this is so bothersome is because I just don't like it when people talk to me. Now, when I say "people" I don't mean people I already know...I mean people. Like the other day I was Hometown Buffet (I'm a sucker for buffets, what can I say?) and this guy starts talking to me about how he's upset that there's no more roast beef. "They have the best roast beef here, I think I'm going to wait for them to bring some more out. What have you got there? Chicken? Is that good here?" Shut the fuck up, I don't know you. What? Just because we happen to be in the same restaurant at the same time does that mean I'm going to get all buddy-buddy with you over roast beef? No way. I just didn't talk to him. I walked away without saying a word. I think he was offended because I did acknowledge that he was talking to me, but I just walked away. I don't regret a damn thing. This was my stand against society...small as it might have been.

So, in closing, here's a word to the wise. If you don't know me, just don't talk to me, please. If I don't talk to you first, there's a reason...you scare me.

2003-09-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

The Break

Space. Somewhere deep in the forgotten Trapezium Galaxy, the once famous Space Station Scartaris serves now only as a floating prison. This is where I am being kept. They tell me I'm doomed to spend my dying days here behind these polymetal alloy bars, and I don't even know why. How I even got here, I'm not sure. I only know that I must find a way out.

Directly to the right of my cell, there is a room with transparent Plexiglas doors. Inside those doors is a dome held in place by two steel arms coming down from a ceiling so high one can barely see it when looking up. The dome, however, is about 6 feet in diameter and about a yard off the ground. This is the generator: the life force of the ship. This is must be the answer.

The guards walk up and down the cellblocks like clockwork on the quarter hour. Armored from head to toe, there isn't one apparent Achilles Heel on them. You can't even look into their eyes, for they're hidden by the blood red visors on their pitch-black helmets. The state of the art power packs on their backs powered the light pistols they carried in their massive, robotically enhanced arms. You could tell they were recently issued because of the blue luminescent lights on the packs. That was a new feature. The guns would only fire in the presence of xenonuclear power, but they were perfect for space combat.

But no matter how perilous the guards try to make my situation seem, and how futile any attempt to escape would be, I think I might have found a way out of the cell, at least. You see, what they didn’t count on was keeping a prisoner who knows his way around a Federal Space Station. In my past, I was a Lieutenant for the Federation, and if there was one thing I knew, it was the mechanics of the Scartaris. The ship’s generator doors were guarded by a fail safe. If something were to go wrong with the generator – a power surge, perhaps – the electromagnetic field created by the generator would collide with the particles of the xenonuclear field. If this happened, a chain reaction would occur that would blow the ship to oblivion, leaving nothing but dust particles and a hell of a hole in gravitational fabric. To avoid this, everything on the generator deck that is powered by xenonuclear power has to be shut down when the generator doors are opened. Since the late 22nd century, though, basically everything on a ship is powered by xenonuclear power, so once the generator doors are opened, the lock mechanisms on the doors to my cell would freeze. I saw my chance.

It was Day 13 of the week, which meant only one guard was on duty. This is because supply ships come on Day 13, and they need all the hands they can get on upper decks. This also meant that the guard on duty would have to check the generator, if needed. It was my lucky day – the guard received a call on his radio. As the guard walked down the aisles, he peeked into every cell. What he didn’t notice was that I had unfastened the support bar for my bunk and had it set in the corner. The guard stepped in front of the first set of generator doors. When the doors opened and the light flickered, I knew it was time. I grabbed the support bar and bashed the lock to my cell. With surprising ease, the cell door swung open. The guard at the generator doors turned at the noise, but he wasn’t able to do much - the fail-safe on the doors forced them to shut, locking the guard in the generator room. I was free, for the moment. Now to get the hell out of here.

Where will our hero go from here? Will he escape from Scartaris? Find out more in the next exciting chapter of...

Scartaris

2003-09-22T21:25:00.000-07:00

Also, check out Michael's blog (look on the left) because he has a piece of music from Sphere as his mp3 of the moment, composed by Elliot Goldenthal.

2003-09-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

Elliot Goldenthal
Hey folks. Well, you might have noticed that instead of a pick of the week, I'm featuring one of my favorite composers, Elliot Goldenthal. This Academy Award winner (for his score for Frida) has been composing films since the late 80's and has a huge future in front of him. His scores include mostly dark, ominous films and therefore a lot of his music is experimental and wild, like the music you are hearing now from Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. His repitoir includes the films you see on the left hand side as well as Batman Forever, In Dreams, Titus, Interview with the Vampire, and most recently, S.W.A.T.. Having studied under the classical master Aaron Copland, he has made a name for himself orchestrating operas and composing ballets, including the very well recieved Othello in 1997. Goldenthal takes powerful and effective classical elements and fuses them into a new, fresh style making him one of the most unique composers ever, and definitely the most bold and ambitious composer of today, in my opinion. So, do yourself a favor and check out some of his music. Happy listening.

2003-09-22T20:32:00.000-07:00

2003-09-19T08:38:00.000-07:00

Wake Up

People on Bikes, Skateboards, Razor Scooters, etc.
I'm not moving for you anymore. You move for me, it's only fair. When I see you, I'm walking on and not worrying because you're gonna watch out for me, RIGHT?!

Beyonce Knowles

On an interview on E! last night you were quoted as saying that "If you are intelligent, have family values, and have your own personal goals, then you have a chance with me." Wake up, Beyonce! I'M RIGHT HERE! I don't think you guys realize just how much I love this woman...

Haley Joel Osment

Stop acting until you're 25. It's not you...yet. See, if you continue on this path, you'll be so heavily criticized that you might fall into the ranks of Corey Feldman and Dustin Diamond. Just sit it out and come back like Christian Bale and Drew Barrymore.

Sakura

Grow.

Aneet
You're too tall.

Fat People
Get out of the way.

Skinny People
Get out of the way.

Jesse Jackson

Go away.

Friendster
Stop making me feel bad. You have 20 friends and you think you're all cool...then you see Daryl ( )has 177 friends and you go into depression.

Marisa Tomei

You're fine, darling. Just wanted to say hi.

Indiana Schwartz
Live on, my friend.

Benny Del Rio

Let the Hammer...

2003-09-17T08:18:00.000-07:00

MP3 of the Month
Hey peoples. Listen, for those of you in SC Youth Ministry who come to my page, go to the St. Catherine's Youth Ministry Web Site (link on the left) and check out the mp3's of the month. Please leave a review! I've already left my reviews for this month under the name "White Shadow." For those of you not in youth ministry, Tony doesn't usually post reviews from people outside of the ministry (for good reasons), but check them out anyway because you can see the funny stuff I and others write on there. Also, you can check out the entire SC Youth Ministry website at www.SCYouthMinistry.com and learn about the church I'm involved in and what type of things I do there.
K later folks.

2003-09-16T11:57:00.000-07:00

My Wife Has A BoyfriendOk weirdness...I know I was just writing about girls...and speak of the devil...I just ran into the love of my life. Well, I mean I didn't just meet her right now...I've known her for a few weeks now, but I just went outside to wait for a friend of mine, and I ran into her. Her name's MyThi, she's in my Asian American Studies class. We were put into a group not too long ago and I totally fell in love because we work off each other really nicely...what I mean to say is that when she says something, it is really meaningful and then I am able to reply to it well and we go back and forth like nuts. Then when we went back to our seats, every time she would say something it would just really hit me and I'd have to look over at her...and the funny thing was that she looked over at me as well. So, we sort of got into the habbit of speaking to each other after class. She has a tattoo on her ankle that is Chinese figures for her name. I asked her what it meant and I complimented her for getting something so meaningful to her and she called me a sweet guy! Then the next day we were talking about how we react to what each of us says in class and I told her about how I feel in that class and she said she really likes how we get along. Oh man I want to ask her out. Last week there was this screenwriter who came to CSUN who lived through the blacklist era and was a member of the feminist movement and I know that MyThi is interested in that period of history so I was going to ask her to go with me, but she didn't show up to class the day I was going to ask her. Oh well...then on Friday I was going to ask for her number for over the weekend, but I chickened out. THEN today I was waiting outside for a friend of mine to give me a paper and MyThi walks by! She stopped by and said hi and we started to chat. Then she asked me if I would walk her to her class. I said I'd love to. So we were talking and walking and we ran into one of her friends and she introduced me as her friend and then we passed by Prin! I said hey to Prin and MyThi said something to me about how she thinks I have a thing for asian girls hehe (MyThi is asian btw). Anywho...so as we were talking and about to get to her class she mentions her boyfriend :-( cause we were talking about this girl in our class and she said, "yeah, and I was telling my boyfriend about it and he said..." blah blah I didn't pay attention after that. I was kinda distressed that she had a boyfriend. I was totally going to ask her if she wanted to maybe do something after class one day (because she is done with class after our AAS class) or I was going to ask for her number, but knowing she has a boyfriend, I couldn't do that...I didn't want to take the rejection. Oh well...I guess I'll keep trying, but my hopes have faded...I never get lucky with this stuff.

2003-09-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

Interesting...I was just reading Michael's blog (which is pretty amazing nowadays, by the way...kudos, Michael) and I realized that we're very different when it comes to girls...yet we're kinda the same, too. We all know I've liked tons of girls...in fact, Leeja and I have decided that I have probably had more crushes than any other single person in our high school class. Don't really know why...but I have. And I like to "gab" about my new crushes all the time to pretty much anyone. Thing is, though, that Michael and I never really talk about girls or relationships in general, unless it's important. I think that's because Michael and I are extremely logical people and we don't really want to bother with things that don't mean much...so we really only talk to each other about that kind of stuff when it actually means something. On the other hand, I'm very big on talking to people about every little crush I have...actually, I don't tell just anyone...mostly I like to talk to Leeja about that kind of stuff because she's one of the best conversationalists I know and she knows me pretty much inside and out. Also, lately I've taken to telling Sakura about that stuff because, frankly, she's very blunt and I like getting right down to things.

2003-09-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

Double D's
What's with people not wanting to open the second door? You know what I mean: you're trying to get out a building and there is a set of double doors. One door is open and through this door there is a train of people going in and out of the building, causing terrible traffic and setting off tempers. This just happened to me...and I simply walked up to the second door, pushed it open, and let myself out with no wait or hassel. Why not open the second door? I think maybe one reason people don't open the second door is because of the elevator/crosswalk button complex. If there's a bunch of people waiting at a crosswalk or elevator, obviously the button has already been pushed, so pushing it yourself seems a waste. In the same way, maybe people assume that the second door is locked or incapable of opening because all these people aren't touching the door, so they figure that someone must have already tried it and found out it wasn't working. Or it could be the fear of being that idiot that tries to open the door just to find that it won't open. Have you ever noticed that when there are sets of double doors, like in major buildings, one of the doors will be locked for some crazy reason? And have you ever noticed that, more often than not, the one that is locked is the one you try first? Then you see people already inside the building snickering because you found the locked door. When I see those people snickering I shoot them a look of disgust because they could have warned me, but no...they want to see others suffer...the bastards. In any case, I just don't see why people won't take the chance to help society and try to open the door. I mean, yeah you could be wrong and the people around you will notice, but they'll forget in a minute. But, if you're right, people notice those things and tell others about it...like I'm doing now. I mean, think about it...being right about the double doors is like when you get to class and everyone's waiting outside the classroom because everyone thinks that "oh, well if these people aren't inside, then that must mean they can't get in" and EVERYONE thinks this...but all of a sudden one person will have the courage to actually try the door and it opens...and the rest of the class floods in behind you. Then, you're known as the person who saved the class from having to wait outside until the professor got there. What a feeling. And all because you took a risk.

So, help your fellow man. Do the right thing. Open a door or two. And if you ever see me on the street, give me candy (thought I'd slip that in...worth a shot right? Never hurts to take a risk).

2003-09-06T17:54:00.000-07:00

Holy fucking shit I just wrote a whole fucking post about how I'm going to bring back my blog with a vengeance and when I pressed "Publish Post" the computer freaked out and I lost 20 minutes worth of work. Shit shit shit.

Alright, now that I have that out of my system, I'll re-write the god damned thing.

Determined
I told Michael this morning that I am going to delete my blog. But, Michael tried and tried to talk me out of it, and actually he made a few good points. So, what I'm going to do instead of deleting the blog is bring it back but bring it back with a whole new style. When I first started this blog, I was really excited because I had the chance to write about my crazy rantings that you all know me so well for. Some people (Sakura) don't like the blog because of the rants, but you know what? I really don't care what she or anyone else like her thinks. I started this because I wanted my friends who I don't get to talk to anymore because they are in Boston or Illinoise or SD or SB to still be able to catch up with my life and to get a taste of home by hearing my famous rants. And it was pretty popular for a while. Now, however, my original audience has dwindled, but a new audience has come and I really like that fact. So, keeping in tradition, I promise to post as much as I can on as various topics as I can because I feel it's my responsibility to say things that we all are thinking but no one else wants to get into. That's what i do here and that's what I want to continue to do.

Here's the thing...I really liked the feeling I get when I would post new things like pictures or links or when I added the pick of the week and people would comment on how they liked the new additions. But, I really haven't had anything new in a while...so, I sort of grew tired of the same old thing. So, what I've decided to do is re-do the format of my blog and come back with all new gimmics and crazy stuff...I'll still have a pick of the week, because while some may not read it all the time, it will still provide you with Kyle's rental pick if you ever need a suggestion...and believe me, they're all worth the rental. I've also thought up a few things including celebrity surveys and news (since my movie news post went over so well) and possibly even a weekly contest that you all could participate in. Doesn't that sound cool? Plus, I'll have nothing but the best new graphics and music, so you all can see what on Kyle's mind today, bcecause that is what the blog here for.

Help?
I do ask however that maybe my readers will give me feedback sometimes? I mean, whether it be leaving a tag on my little board there or clicking on my "E-Mail" monkey. And if you like, who knows? Maybe I'll have like guest posts or a guest quote of the day if you send something to me. If you ever want to contribute to this blog at all, just let me know...you have something to say? I'll post it for sure! My new promise is to make this blog as interesting as possible for you and for me.

Alright folks, that about it for me. Come back daily because the changes will be drastic and it'll be exciting to watch this thing change, believe me. Later guys and gals!

2003-09-04T21:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know what's up...I can't seem to keep up my blog...and I feel bad. Like, no one even reads it anymore because I never update. And at the same time, the people who used to not update as much are updating like mad! Like Michael...he's got all these graphics and stuff now and he has music up and he won't tell me how he is doing it. He has like an EVERYTHING of the week/month/day/even moment. I've got the score of the week that NO ONE went to that I've just taken off and it's not like it even matters what pic I have anymore. I don't know I guess it just seems like it's so much work for no purpose. Sakura says she doesn't like my blog because I complain about stuff, but frankly, I don't like blogs that simply tell about the persons day...I find that boring and...I dunno...I don't want to feel that close to you. But I have been re-reading my archives and I noticed that I have evolved. I started out on the right foot and I got lost somewhere...like it's different now. I just don't have the motivation to write, even though I have the ideas...the drive just isn't there anymore. Give me some time, I suppose.

2003-08-30T22:57:00.000-07:00

Craphorrigustable is a word that I've decided to make up. It means horrible, sickeningly stupid, terrible, craptastic, bad, BAD, BAD, and any other wretched adjective you can think of. I created this word for one purpose and one purpose only: to describe the film Jeepers Creepers2. I don't have time to write right now, but believe you me, when I've had time to work out the 2 hour cinematic train wreck I've just witnessed, I'll be back to officially issue my review/Warning!

2003-08-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Oh...You don't like to read? Aww too bad, you know you're missing out...oh wait, no you're not because you're a FUCKING IDIOT WHO WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD THING IF IT BIT YOU IN THE FREAKIN ASS!"I don't like to read books" should be a sentence banned from the english language. There's no better way to publicize your ignorance than to say this line. It always amazes me when I'm talking about the latest book I've read or about how much I love 1984 or Michael Crichton, that there's always someone around that will say, "Eh, I'm not much of a reader..." and they say reader like it's a bad thing like "Eh, I'm not much of a Barbra Streisand fan..." It's not that I don't understand that reading takes time and patience...if you don't have time, you don't have time...but to just come out and say you don't like to read books is such a completely ignorant statement. Saying you don't read is basically saying that you don't like books...period...as if there's not one book you'd like if you would just give it a shot. And let's face it, folks, books and written stories have been aroung for a damn long time, and if you don't like them just because you "don't like to read," you're the stupid one, not the books. The books have survived for centuries..there are entire classes on these things we call novels and part of our culture is based on literature and literary characters...and you "don't like to read books." Well let me tell you something...you piss me off!
[AT THIS POINT I LEFT AND WENT TO DROP SOMETHING OFF WITH CLAUDIA]
2 hours later...
[TRIED TO WRITE AGAIN, BUT HAD TO GO TO CLASS]
3 hours later...
Ok I'm back, but I still haven't calmed down about this thing. I mean, that's sort of like saying, "Oh, I'm not much of a movie person," as if there's not one single movie out there that you wouldn't love if you just found it. I'm not saying you have to love reading every second of every novel you ever read...I've given up on books after the first chapter or so, but everyone has a right to do so. But one thing that really bugs the crap out of me are people who just won't pick up the book simply because it is a book! Damn that's so stupid. And think about it, all the best movies come from books...being dissappointed while reading Jurassic Park or 1984 isn't the book's fault, it's your own damn lack of any sense of imagination and/or commom intelligence.
Simon made an valid argument on Michael's tagboard. He said he didn't like 1984 because he was forced to read it in school, and of course, doing anything for class basically sucks the joy and life out of anything, so I can see being turned off by reading things in school or not liking something because of your experience in school, but it's not like you're reading everything at school and reading 1984 sure as hell is not like reading a history textbook. So, the fact still stands...if you say you don't like to read, period...I really have a total lack of respect for you, no exceptions. Sorry if I offended you, but I figure anyone reading this probably isn't one of those people, am I right? Considering how much I write...

2003-08-25T21:28:00.000-07:00

Who do diaper commercials think their target audience is? I'm watching TV and this commercial comes on featuring a band of babies on a stage dancing and singing to a song about diapers in the style of N'Sync. I cannot imagine an expecting mother would buy a diaper purely because the music was in the style of N'Sync...who the hell is this commercial trying to attract? I mean, the babies don't think they're gonna look as good as those dancing babies on TV, and unless their target audience is 13 year old girls (which might actually be the answer), women are not going to dooped by flashing lights and a song about the latest in diaper fashion. And speaking of diaper fashion...I want to say something to parents: put some freaking clothes on your kids. I get yelled at when I walk around in my boxers, but a two year old runs rampant in the house in his birthday suit and you take pictures, laugh, and tell your friends. It's freakin sick is what it is...teach the kid to have some shame.
Ahh...I would write more, but I can't concentrate...Bill Mahr just called religion a neural disorder and hate-crimes are a result of the bible...I have to go fume.

2003-08-18T10:51:00.000-07:00

Once And Only Once
Ok listen up, folks, cause I'm only gonna say this once. It's not something I like to discuss, so I'm going to say it here once in writing and never again. I'm a cryer when it comes to movies. I'm not a cryer in general...actually, I've been told by many that I have an insensitive heart of stone, but not when it comes to movies - I'm a complete sap. Movies and music...I think because good movies and really good music are meant to stir emotions...and if it's done well, I'll totally fall into it. Great performances get to me, period..whether it be a powerful performance by an actor, an actress, or an orchestra. But this movie thing...I seriously have a problem.

I think it all started with an episode of Full House. Come on now, don't pretend like you don't know which one I'm talking about...it was the episode where Uncle Jesse was moving out and Michelle didn't want to lose him. The end of the episode was very touching and I remember being a child of only about 6 or 7 and bursting out into tears and running into the other room because I couldn't help but cry. Of course, all children at that age cry all the time...my sister nowadays cries at the drop of a hat. Since then, I've learned to laugh at such cheap television sap-drama...but when it comes to movies - good movies - I can't help but be choked up. Of course, probably the most infamous instances of the Kyle-cry in the Scott household is when I got kinda choked up by Babe...and no, it wasn't the "That'll do Pig" line, but it was the part where the dog had to watch as the farmer gave away her puppies. I mean, that sucks...watching a mother's kids be taken away. but it's other stuff, too...I mean the other day I was watching West Side Story and I seriously had to sit up and take a breath to clear my throat. It happens in music as well...not sappy music or Fionna Apple or because of sad lyrics...that's junk...I get choked up at mostly movie music...like the end of E.T. or the music from the final game from Rudy. Hell, I can't listen to the end of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera without being moved with sadness for the Phantom.

I'm not ashamed of crying...everyone does it, and those who claim they don't are lying. Some guys will view crying as a sign of weakness...some guys view it as a sign of femininity and think that crying is against the typical "ultra masculine guy" image. I don't care. Once I was watching When Harry Met Sally and my dad said he was worried about me...he said something along the lines of "Normal boys watch football, my boy watches Sleepless in Seattle...all I have to say is you better make a lot of money out of this." I responded with something along the lines of "It's not Sleepless in Seattle," and stormed off. Don't worry...since then we've come to an understanding, but the fact still remains...I don't see why anything having to do with emotion gets guys all homophobic. I don't care.

Now, you might be wondering, which movies make Kyle cry? Ok...re-reading this entry, I realize I've made myself seem like a total sap, but it's really only number of movies I cry at, not just anything. So, I'll give you a list of movies that, frankly, I'll never let you watch with me. Here are the top three.

3. My Life, 1993, directed by Bruce Joel Rubin. Starring Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman.
You can't blame me for this one. Listen to this: the movie's about a man, Michael Keaton who finds out that he has cancer and only has a few months to live. At the same time, he finds out that his wife is going to have a baby. So, knowing that his child will never know his father, he decides to make a video of his life so his child can watch it in the future. Can you think of a more cry-worthy premise??? It's so freakin sad...plus, the performances are amazing, and the things they do for him...oh man, this one's bad. Great movie though...3 1/2 Stars.

2. Forrest Gump, 1994, directed by Robert Zemeckis. Starring Tom Hanks, with Gary Sinese and Robin Wright-Penn.
I've actually met people who don't like this movie. "Where do these people come from?" I often wonder to myself...and I can never come up with a satisfying answer. This movie is amazing, period. It's one of the funniest and at the same time most impressive movies I've ever seen. For those of you who haven't lived their life to it's fullest and watched Forrest Gump, the movie's about Forrest Gump, a slow witted man whose life affects everyone around him in meaningful ways...everyone from a worn out army seargent to 3 presidents of the United States. The cryer though is at the end when he finds out that he has a child and he asks the mother, "Is he smart or...is he like me?" Oh my god, this is the second most tear-worthy line in cinema history. I mean, we've watched this man grow up and we've seen his entire life and it's hard to watch this part because he knows he's not smart and he realizes it...but we know that he is much more than what he gives himself credit for. Oh, I wanna watch this movie now.

Finally...
1. Terms of Endearment, 1983, directed by James L. Brooks (of Simpsons fame). Starring Shirley Mclain, Deborah Winger, Jeff Daniels, and Jack Nicholson.
The first most tear-worthy line is in this movie. To begin, Shirley Mclain is my favorite actress. It's weird when I tell people that because nowadays people will say someone glamourous like Julia Roberts or Jessica Alba or that hot girl from Smallville. But, I always have to tell people "Shirley Mclain or Olympia Dukakas" and then I have to explain that they're old people. At any rate, this line is said by Shirley Mclain when her daughter dies of cancer (don't worry it's no suprise) and she's in the room when it happens. Shirley Mclain is there with Jeff Bridges, who plays the husband of the daughter...and throughout the movie, Shirley Mclain always hated Jeff bridges, but here, at her daughter's deathbed, she realizes that her daughter is dead and she embraces her son-in-law for comfort and says, "You think when it's over it will be easier, but it's not...it's not...it's the hardest thing in the world," all these words said through tears. This minute of film is responsible for the only actual gushing tears I've ever shed during a movie. In fact, I remember watching this movie with my mom and I tried to hide that I was crying. But, for like 10 minutes after that scene I'm still all choked up, then the movie ends and mom said like "Good movie, huh, Kyle?" and I responded...I meant to say "Yea, it really is"...but it didn't all come out because I did that stupid cry-talk and my mom was like "Kyle! Are you actually crying at a movie?!" and she started laughing at me. Oh well...yea I can never watch that mvie with anyone anymore.

Well, those are the top three...most of you know I can't get through the end of E.T. without the choke up...and besides that I can't think of too many others...but yea. I've said it once and now I'll never say it again. If you ask me if I cry at movies I will deny everything...ooh wait, I just remembered The American President...wow, what a movie...

2003-08-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

Pick of the Week
See the man on the left? That's Indiana Jones, and he's my hero. He's everything I've ever wanted to be. If I had to be another person, I'd be him. The man is witty, adventurous, and always gets the girl...not to mention he has the most exciting job EVER and lives in the 1930's, which is awesome in itself. He's a man of adventure in a time when there were endless adventures to have.

See the picture below of a man named Steven Spielberg? He's my hero...he created Indiana Jones. Not only did he create Indy, but he brought him to life in three of the greatest films of all time. It's tough to say which Indy film I like the most: Raiders, the first installment, is the original and has more classic scenes than probably any other single movie. Last Crusade, the third installment, has Sean Connery as Indy's father. Last Crusade is definitely the lightest, funniest, and most heartfelt. Temple of Doom, the second installment, is the most different. It's the darkest and the one with the most exotic locales...and this one will always have a very special place in my heart.

There are some who would argue that Temple of Doom isn't as good as the others. Usually I'd let it go and tell them to go wallow in their cinematic ignorance, but I can't bring myself to let anyone talk poorly of this film. This movie is simply amazing. Indy is at the top of his game here and he has my third favorite character in the entire series as his trusty sidekick, Short Round (a.k.a. Data from The Goonies). I can't begin to explain how strongly I feel about this movie...and when I try to, I downplay the real enjoyability...so go do yourself a favor and watch a great adventure film...Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

Kyle's 4 Star Rating: 4

2003-08-12T09:50:00.000-07:00

MOVIE NEWS

Tarentino Time
Quentin Tarentino, director of Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, and Jackie Brown is making a brand new film (devoted to classic kung fu movies) called Kill Bill. Umm...well, that's not entirely true...actually he's making two new movies out of one movie. You see, Tarentino began filming Kill Bill planning to release a cut version to the US and an extended version to Japan. But, producers liked what they saw so much that they asked Tarentino to re-work the film to make it into 2 parts...one to be released On October 11 and the sequel to be released 2 to 6 months later.

Also, Robert Rodriguez is going to be bringing us a sequel to his 1995 modern western epic Desperado (which itself is a sequel to 1992's El Mariachi). The 3rd installment is called Once Upon a Time in Mexico. All of the original's are back (Antonio and Selma), and bringing in Johnny Depp as a slimy CIA agent. Tarentino is basically responsible for bringing Rodriguez to the Hollywood spotlight and they're prety close friends. In fact, it was Quentin Tarentino who came up with the title to the new movie (he came up with it while comparing the trilogy to Sergio Leone's Dollar trillogy, ending of course with Once Upon a Time in the West).
Opens September 12! I know what I'm doing on my birthday...

Old School Favs
The people who brought us Gremlins, The Goonies, Alien, and Willow are back in action this year. Gremlins director Joe Dante is making a brand new live action/animated movie, Looney Tunes: Back in Action. Dante likens this to our favorite, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, and he even got some of the original writers from The Simpsons to help him capture the old anarchist spirit of the original Looney Tunes, and not the new crap we see all the time. Opens November 14th.

Goonies director Richard Donner is bringing us the film version of Michael Crichton's best selling novel, Timeline. Crichton's novel is one of my new favorites and I'm really looking forward to this one. And don't worry, Donner has much more experience in the action genre than just The Goonies. He also directed the entire Leathal Weapon series.

One of my personal favs, Ridley Scott, (the one I met) has come a long way since his breakthrough sci-fi classic Alien, bringing us such classics as Bladerunner, Thelma and Louise, and Gladiator. Now, he brings us a new crime/drama/comedy called Matchstick Men starring Nicholas Cage and Sam Rockwell. I've seen this movie and I'm not supposed to talk about it, but I reccomend it. Also opens September 12!!

Willow director Ron Howard is also back, returning to his Ransom tendencies with The Missing. Don't know too much about this one, but the man hasn't failed yet, so I'm in high hopes.

Senior Spielbergo
Steven Spielberg's new project Terminal, starring Tom Hanks, isn't due until next year, and it's very tightly under wraps, or else I'd bring you the entire scoop. But, the really exciting news is what he's doing AFTER Terminal, the remake of the classic Secret Life of Walter Mitty. This film has Jim Carrey set to star in the lead role, playing a man who daydreams just a bit too much. My estimation: probably one of the greatest Jim Carrey performances we will ever see...considering the wild nature of the film, complete with action sequences, musical numbers, and a very sentimental heart.

Steven Spielberg on the set of Catch Me If You Can

That's all folks, until next time.

-Movie Man

2003-08-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

Pick of the Week
Jurassic Park is freakin awesome, nough said.
Haha no...I'd write about what an amzing movie this is, but I don't feel like writing. I will say though that this movie is the reason I want to be a filmmaker. it's got everything...great writing, amazing sequences...I just can't say enough. What's that? hear that amazing music? The music you're hearing if from Jurassic Park. it's by John Williams and i's only like my FAVORITE movie theme. Ok...if u haven't seen JP, go see it...u'll LOVE it...and don't judge it by The Lost World or JP3. it's much better than both. k later guys.

Kyle's 4 Star Rating: 4!!!

2003-07-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

I want the toilet seat UP God damnit!
Ok, I sure hope when school starts up again I get the urge to start writing again as well. I used to write such great entries, and now I'm so boring. What's the deal? I dunno lately I just don't feel like writing. I mean, I still rant just as much, but writing it down seems like a waste of time. I mean, only like 5 of you read it anyway. But, like I said, hopefully the drive will pick up once school starts. I've had plenty of ideas for rants, too, believe me. And I've had a lot to talk about...everything from big things like seeing Kathy Griffin at the Laugh Factory to little things like why people bother to hand out fliers (to me, handing me a flier is like saying to me, "Here, you throw this out."). Anyway, I've been on a Lord of the Rings binge lately. It's freaking awesome! I don't know...I love those movies and I cannot wait till the third one comes out. Everyone is telling me if I like the movies to read the books, but I don't know about that. I tried to read the first one once and I thought it was really dry and kinda boring...besides what I like about the movies is the atmosphere and the music...and I do like how it goes into the different cultures like Elvish and Dwarvish and stuff, but I still can't bring myself to read it. Plus, I can't read them now. I mean, that'd be like reading the Harry Potter books now. Like, everyone in the nation has already read the new Harry potter book and if I were to go up to someone and say, "Hey I just read the first Harry Potter book," people would say, "What the Hell? I read that 3 years ago! Where the Hell have you been?!" I like the Harry Potter movies as well, but I had some problems with the first one. it was way too freaking long. "Had to establish the characters?" Bullshit. It was too freaking long and boring, I don't care how close it was to the book. A book has the ability to go off into tangents and take a long time to get somewhere, a movie does not. There are rules, people...conventions. The second one was a hell of an improvement, and just when I started to like it, I found out that it's not gonna be the same people doing the third one...director-wise anyway. Oh well, I still say they should make a movie out of Ender's Game...the space version of Harry Potter, but much better in my opinion...and let's face it, my opinion means everything. What's with people saying, "Everyone's entitled to their own opinion"? Not if you're a jackass, you're not. And let's face this fact, too: everyone that actually uses the line, "Well, everyone's entitled to their own opinion" is a jackass. Cause that just means, "I don't agree with you at all, I think you're a freakin idiot, but I'm not in the mood to argue, so I'll continue to let you live in ignorance." If I think you're wrong, I'm gonna let you know it...and it's not just so I can be right...it's for your sake, really. I mean, if you're wrong, I don't want you polluting the world with faulty information or off-base opinions...that would be irresponsible on my part. By the way, speaking of irresponsible, I want women to leave guys alone when they leave the toilet seat up. It's not our freakin responsibility to make sure you don't have to touch the seat or fall in the fuckin toilet...if you fall in the toilet, you deserve to be there. And what? You don't want to touch the toilet seat, so you make men do it for you? You have it easy, you have it down all the time. We have to touch that thing EVERY god damn time we go in there because we either have to put it up or down. IN FACT it would make even more sense for women to make sure the seat is up when they leave the bathroom. Then we'd be like equals, and we all want equality, don't we?

2003-07-22T11:17:00.000-07:00

The horror...the horror...
I've seen horrors...horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that...but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face...and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces...seems a thousand centuries ago...we went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for Polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile...a pile of little arms. And I remember...I...I...I cried...I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized...like I was shot...like I was shot with a diamond...a diamond bullet right through my forehead...and I thought: My God...the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters...These were men...trained cadres...these men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love...but they had the strength...the strength...to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral...and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling...without passion...without judgment...without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

2003-07-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

YOU ARE PATRICK THE STARFISH!

!!!WHAT SPONGEBOB CHARACTER ARE YOU!!!
brought to you by Quizilla

The only thing I didn't like about this was that it doesn't give a description about what Patrick/you are like. But hey, you all have imaginations...

2003-07-15T17:24:00.000-07:00

This poem was used in A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
This should give you an idea of the faery tale aspect of the film.

"The Stolen Child"

Where dips the rocky highland
Of Sleuth Wood in the lake,
There lies a leafy island
Where flapping herons wake
The drowsy water-rats;
There we''ve hid our faery vats,
Full of berries
And of the reddest stolen cherries.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world''s more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wave of moonlight glosses
The dim grey sands with light,
Far off by furthest Rosses
We foot it all the night,
Weaving olden dances,
Mingling hands and mingling glances
Till the moon has taken flight;
To and fro we leap
And chase the frothy bubbles,
While the world is full of troubles
And is anxious in its sleep.
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world''s more full of weeping than you can understand.

Where the wandering water gushes
From the hills above Glen-Car,
In pools among the rushes
That scarce could bathe a star,
We seek for slumbering trout
And whispering in their ears
Give them unquiet dreams;
Leaning softly out
From ferns that drop their tears
Over the young streams
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world''s more full of weeping than you can understand.

Away with us he's going,
The solemn eyed:
He'll hear no more the lowing
Of the calves on the warm hillside
Or the kettle on the hob
Sing peace into his breast,
Or see the brown mice bob
Round and round the oatmeal-chest.
For he comes, the human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
From a world more full of weeping than he can understand.

- W.B. Yeats

2003-07-15T17:14:00.000-07:00

Pick of the Week
Ah, A.I. Now here's one of the most misunderstood films in recent history. It's sort of tragic how people look over the really wonderful elements of this movie just because it's not what they expected.

A.I. is about David, a top-of-the-line robot with a new feature never seen before in the world of robotics: the ability to love. Without giving away too much, what happens is that David is programed to love Monica, a young mother who has lost her only child to a coma, but when Monica is forced to get rid of David, he is determined to be reunited with her with the help of a robotic gigalo named Joe. The film is directed by Steven Spielberg, but the story is almost 100% a conception by Stanley Kubrick. In fact, Kubrick had been working for 20 years on this film. He storyboarded entire sequences and even picked out pieces of music he wanted to use. Toward the end of his career, he wanted Spielberg to direct the film when he finally finished it's conception. Of course, Kubrick died before he could finish it, so Spielberg decided to bump it up to production and he finished it himself. Yet, the fact that it's a Spielberg rendition of a Kubrick story is the source of the problems in the film.

The first two acts of this movie are amazing. It's extremely remenicent of E.T., if you're a Spielberg fan, and it deals with themes that seem to derive themselves soley from Kubrick films. The film begins with an introduction to David in home life, and then expands as he goes on an adventure in a quest to be reunited with his mother. Extremely lush, futuristic enviroments are explored, as well as a dark look into a possible future.

The catch is that this movie is unrelentingly sad. When you see a Spielberg film, you expect a happy faery tale universe where things are hunky-dory all the time. But, Kubrick had a very dark vision, and Spielberg was determined to stay true to that vision. The problem is that Spielberg's style is just too damn different than Kubrick's. If Spielberg wasn't so driven to make a love story out of a brooding look at humanity, the film would have worked. But, at the same time that the film failed at it's overall goal, I'm almost extremely happy it did because now we have a truly unique style of filmmaking bringing to life an amazing story. The movie is filled with moments of what I can only describe as graceful scenes and beautiful moments. The movie is a story about love...and a story about humanity.

Although, as things are going well for the first 2/3 of the movie, the conclusion of the film comes in and reminds us that this movie is not a happy film, but a dark one. Here is the point of the movie where I have difficulty grasping what Spielberg was trying to do. It seems like it's a typical Kubrick epiphony ending, but it ends up as sort of a cheesey mess. This is an example of how the cuddly universe of Spielberg is just not meant to clash with the cold intelligence of Kubrick's. Although, the last 10 minutes of the movie are a saving grace, as the happy ending comes in and we revisit the beauty of the beginning of the film.

In all, the movie is quite an experience. It does have flaws, but the movie itself is such a unique experience that the flaws almost help the movie to keep us intregued. It explores all types of questions about life and humanity, and, when all is said and done, it is quite an achievement for Spielberg.

Kyle's 4-Star Rating: 3 1/2 (Would be a three, but it's just something too special to give an ordinary rating)

2003-07-10T14:29:00.000-07:00

There's no way in Hell that I'm ever going to figure people out. Like...the second you think you've got it figured...the second you think, "Yea, I realize that's how the world is sometimes," something comes along and blows that theory out of the water and you have to start all over again. People are freaking weird. I'm the only normal person in this world. Now, I know what you're thinking...if I'm the only one who is normal, that would make me, in turn, singled out from the norm and essentially the crazy one...but no....I'm just the only normal one. The only reason I ever act crazy or weird or like I don't know what I'm doing is because of other people. See, other people can't act rationally, therefore I have to act irrationally in order to work with people...a task I hate with a passion. Yet, I do it every day. Now, this is not to say all of you are crazy...just not as normal as me. See, people come close to my level of normality, and those are my friends, but everyone' crazy. See? I don't single people out. It's the world versus me, and I'm losing, but trying my best to make it work. If only everyone thought like me...or at least had the same outlook...the world would be a wonderful, wonderful place.

2003-07-06T09:51:00.000-07:00

Funny...funny but so true. Hehe...

Which Muppet are you? [Pictures]
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By the way, Michael made this quiz...I'm thinking about doing one myself...any suggestions?

2003-07-02T10:37:00.000-07:00

Saw Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. Horrid. A complete joke and mockery of the entire Terminator series. The Terminator served no purpose in this movie whatsoever but to be the comic relief. He was one big walking punchline. There were lots of action sequences, but nothing spectacular. They were such plain action scenes; they were scenes that could have worked in any action movie and, well, just weren't "Terminator" enough for me. It was a decent movie with the exception that it just did not follow in the tradition of Terminator AT ALL and instead just poked fun at him the whole time. You know, I had respect for the Terminator in the other two films, but in this one he was a complete farce. You could have replaced his character with Bernie Mac and it would have had the same impact on me. And who the hell did the casting for this movie? John Connor looks like Brad Pitt with down syndrome and the girl was played by Clair Daines...enough said. There were so many stupid parts that were just stuck for an extranneous action sequence, unlike the first two movies, where the action scenes served to further the plot and intensity of the story. Instead, they break into Sara Conner's tomb to steal some guns, just to escape with none of them. The highlight of the film was the female Terminator...she was like a mix between the T-101 and the T-1000...plus a bunch of blinking blue lights to catch the audience's eye as they are falling alseep. And literally, I started to fall asleep at the end...but it's ok because this movie had one of the WORST ENDINGS IN THE HISTORY OF CINEMA.

I'm so pissed. Any real Terminator fan will be overly dissappointed with this film. Anyone who liked it has to seriously examine their heads...or question their dedication to the legacy that is The Terminator.

Kyle's 4-Star Rating: A solid, but painful, 2 stars.

2003-06-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

Baby, Bye Bye Bye!
Well, our good friend, Arlene, is goin to Guatamala for like...ever...haha no, not forever, but for most of the summer. So, she's gonna be kinda, you know, totally on her own. She leaves tomorrow, so I thought I should do something on my blog for her. First, I thought I'd do something cheesey and write the farewell speech from Romeo and Juliet, but then I thought...nah, let's go TOTALLY CHEESEY! So, I've actually had this song on my blog before, but here's the lyrics to a great song, "Saying Goodbye," from The Muppets Take Manhattan. This one's for you, Arlene.

Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say
Touching a hand, wondering why
It's time for saying goodbye

Saying goodbye, why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we've had
Much more to say, foolish to try
It's time for saying goodbye

Dont want to leave, but we both know
Sometimes it's better to go
Somehow I know we'll meet again
Not sure quite where, and I dont know just when
You're in my heart, so until then
Wanna smile, wanna cry
Saying goodbye

2003-06-29T09:46:00.000-07:00

Canoga Guy or Sorry, All Outta Gay
I recently apologized for not being gay. I still don't know why. I was out the other day with a friend of mine and as we were just hangin around near the Topanga Plaza, some guy comes up to me and asks, "Hey, my friend over there wants to know if you're gay." I said, "No, sorry." I actually said sorry for not being gay. What's with that? It's as if I felt like I let him down, ya know? I felt like a guy working at a cheese shop and apologizing that I was out of gouda. "Nope, sorry. All outta gay."
This reminded me of one time in my first year with Acadeca (Academic Decathlon). It was the day of the actual competition...the day of the Superquiz, for those of you who watched it. The Superquiz is the last event of the day, but before that, all of the Decathletes are piled into this hall, seated in rows and are given seven multiple choice tests. They split up your team...so you don't cheat, I guess...by placing you all in different rows, but if you looked around, you could see all your teammates. If I looked back over my left shoulder, I was able to see my teammate, Bryan. So, after every test, I would look back over my shoulder to see if Bryan would give me a thumbs up or thumbs down, depending on how he thought he did on the test. Some of the times though, because he was so far away, he didn't realize I was looking back at him, so I would kinda stare over towards him, waiting for him to look at me. Anyway, after the testing was over, all the team members found each other and we all walked out of the hall together. As we were walking out, a girl I had met at the scrimmage from Canoga Park High, Rosie, came up to me and said, "Hey, remember me?" I said, "Yeah, of course. What's up?" She said, "Well, my friend over there asked me to come over because...well, he thought you were looking at him during the test." Now, when I first heard this, I automatically thought this guy thought I was mad-doggin him or something. I thought he wanted to like beat me up or something. So, I asked, "What do you mean?" And she said, "Well, he thought maybe you were looking at him like...you know..." and then she made like the "weak wrist" motion that would imply that I was gay! This guy from Canoga Park thought I was like checking him out or something! So, I said, "Oh! No! I wasn't looking at him like that, no. I was looking at my friend!" And Rosie kind of laughed and then started to walk off. I yelled after her, "Really! I'm serious! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!" But, I don't know...I made the terrible mistake of telling my teammates what happened and I've been ridiculed ever since. So, for years, my "Canoga Guy" story has been an Acadeca favorite. Hell, Bryan mentions it to me every other day...he even made fun of me about it in my yearbook. Oh well, I guess I'm just irresistable...to both sexes.

2003-06-27T09:56:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, by the way, I want to go on record by saying Hulk was horrible. You'll see my review soon...once I calm down a bit.

2003-06-27T09:49:00.000-07:00

Marvin Gaye Sucks or Excuse Me, Mrs. Assfire, But Can You Spare A Square?
Alright, I know it's been on everyone's mind and I think it's time someone addressed it. Why are porn titles in movies/television spoofs of actual movie titles? I mean, I'm watching Married With Children, and Al goes into the porn section and he says all these titles like Forrest Hump, Mrs. Assfire, and The Whole 9 Inches. I've also seen that it's popular for SNL and Mad TV to do this as well, they've come up with such titles as Rambone and Saving Ryan's Privates. Why do they do that? It strikes me as odd that people mock these titles and films when the porn industry is one of the largest in the world. Like...why does everyone pick on porn so much when a large percent of the population watches or has watched it at some point...and let me tell you, they don't watch it just to get a good laugh. But my the real thought I had about this was how cliches are such a large part of society nowadays...and no one seems to motice or even care. Take bodily humor, for example. It's like every comedy today has some scene where someone farts in the bathtub or has diahrea or someone pees in public but something is blocking them so it looks like a statue is peeing or something. Don't people like remember previous movies? When I was watching Scary Movie 2, there's a scene in the beginning where James Woods has diarhea and the audience was like laughing their stupid heads off. Two things bothered me about this...one, I just saw a scene identical to this in Dumb and Dumber the day before...and two, is it really even that funny? It's disgusting, is what it is...do you laugh when you have diahrea? I just think that fart humor is like the lowest form of humor...and it takes no discipline to attain it because everyone can do it...it's just not smart humor...it's just not funny. Yet, it's so prevalent in movies today. What the hell? And speaking of porn, why is it that whenever a "love scene" is comming up in a movie, the saxaphone starts playing? Like the rest of the movie is saxaphone-free, but once two people start to go at it, the sax comes right in. What, are we supposed to be reminded of the song stylings of Barry White or Issac Hayes or Marvin Gaye? Just because these men wrote songs very blatently describing the act of sex, does this automatically put the audience "in the mood"? I'll tell you one thing, when I think of Marvin Gaye, I get pissed off. I mean, censorship is running wild in America...books and movies are being banned, and parents aren't letting their children buy Blink 182 cd's because they say "Ass," but Marvin Gaye writes a song about "getting it on" and "giving it to me" and Barry White sings songs about "love mounds" and they become classics...hell, my 10 year old sister knows the words to "Let's Get It On" and "I Believe In Miracles." When there's a steamy sex scene and the sax pops in, I want to throw up. I mean, it's the same damn thing...can't people think of anything different? New?? What's wrong with people??? Why am I the only sane person in America? Can someone help me with this?

2003-06-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

K guys I PROMISE I'm comming back. I have something funny to write about, a new pick of the week, and soon to be new score of the week. Ok, later!!!

2003-06-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

You are Darkness. The name says it all...

What Legend Character Are You?
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2003-06-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

here...as you read this blog entry...listen to the music...Tom Hank's character from Joe Versus The Volcano comes in and says these words..."Dear God, whose name I do not know...thank you for my life. I forgot...how big....Thank you. Thank you for my life."

Long One...Don't Read It If You Don't Wanna Spew
Well, another week goes by without word from Kyle. See, by now I'm sure I've lost about 50% of my readers...I mean, I know that when other people stop posting in their blogs, I stop checking them after a while. So, in an attempt to salvage anyone who might be thinking about never returning here, I've decided to post again. Don't thank me, thank yourselves...?

I really really REALLY hate blog entries that are contemplative about life and such...most of the time. I mean, I've always said I don't like them, but lately I've been thinking maybe that's because I don't want to have to deal with a serious side of life. I feel that this serious side should be kept seperate from your social life, but by doing this, I've inadvertantly forgotten that they should probably be seperate but equal. Corny political reference, I know...but true. I mean, let's face it...I've got a lot to take seriously nowadays...college is nothing to scoff at - it's rough stuff. And of course, a few things have happened recently that have really put a strain on the way I live my normal everyday life.

If you don't want to know about crap going on in my life...STOP READING NOW. See, something's seriously been bothering me lately and until this morining, I really didn't know exactly what it was. But, now it's becomming really obvious to me. See, not too long ago I found out that my grandma has cancer of the lung and kidney...small cell carcenoma, i think it is. Anyway, the doctor's saw her and gave her a timeframe of 6 months to a year. Once she started therapy, she had a stroke...and recently she had another stroke and now she can't move her left leg and can't even complete her sentences. This has all happened in the span of about 2 months or so. But I was bothered because I didin't think I was reacting appropriately. I really don't feel affected by all of this because I am not sure how to deal with it. I mean, I've never really had a death or anything like this in the family before that has been someone so close to me...and I don't know how to feel, I suppose. So, at first I tried to talk about it with my friends (thanks Leeja...and thank you Arlene, I really appreciate it), but that didn't seem to change anything. Even now, it's like I'm writing about something that is happening to someone else's grandparent.

But, you see...this goes a little deeper than the surface. Recently, my grandparents and my parents had sort of a falling out. It all started when my aunt wanted to move to Arizona...and my grandparents said they were going to go with her...but like for a downpayment on the house, my aunt needed $100,000. Well, that $100,000 was my parent's inheritance...it was supposed to be split up between the four children, but now it won't be. Now, my mom and my other aunt don't care about the money, they just want my grandparents to be happy and comfortable with the major change they are making, which would be moving. But, for some reason, the aunt who is moving is making this all about the money...saying like my mom is just greedy and blah blah blah and she's like affecting my grandparent's opinions as well. I don't like the term brainwashed, but it sure as hell seems like she's brainwashing my grandparents into siding with her...so like my grandma and my mom didn't speak for like 2 months. The first time my mom decided to give in and finally call my grandma after 2 months is the first time we found out that my grandma had cancer. So like...I had gotten used to just thinking my grandma was crazy, and then all of a sudden she's dying.

So, now there's something strange...we were just mad at my grandma...and now we're supposed to like forget everything. At first, this didn't seem rational to me. I was angry at her...I was angry at her for being so stubborn with my mom, I was angry at her for getting sick, too...it almost felt like she was copping out or something. But, something in all of this mess kept me from worrying about her, like I should be.

My Point?
This is going in a sort of off direction, I've noticed...so let me start to make my point. We all have so much in life to deal with. I don't look at life as presenting problems, but challenges that one must learn to work with and make the best of. For me, the best way to deal with certain things was just to block them out or not talk about them or try to convince myself that I wanted something that i knew wasn't good for me. The only way to work through these challenges is to directly address them - publicly if necessary. If you have something to say to someone, just say it. Throughout this whole mess with my grandparents all I wanted to do was just jump in and yell at everyone to just sit down and talk things out. I mean, instead of sitting and stewing over everything, why don't you just approach the person and get things overwith so you can move on? We have a responsibility to those around us. Our life is not just our life...our life is the lives of everyone we've ever met and our interactions with them. I mean, even people you pass on the street...they have their own lives and their own problems and challenges to deal with and their own parents, but for the one second you make eye contact or the single moment you bump into them on the street you are a part of that person's life. The most precious thing that person has...and you were a part of it, if only for one brief moment in time. So, we have a responsibility to those around us to love our lives and to do everything we can to make life better. I may not ever get to see my grandmother again and I know that I should have done this or I should have said that...but in the end, no matter what happens between us or between my mom and her, we all have shared a life experience together...and I think the best thing to do is forget all of the bullshit that we've created for ourselves in the midst of dealing with our own problems...and think about the lives of the people we love. And I mean everything...I mean forgetting about accusations of being greedy...I mean talking things out with a person you might have a problem with because you don't want it escalating into something bad...I mean being upfront with poeple about how you feel, whether it's to tell them you love them, or to tell someone that you don't like them the way you once did. You're not the only one who has to deal. Everyone has to deal. We're all the same in the end...we don't matter in the history of the world, and all of those brief interactions won't matter when we have died, but while we are here trying to live our lives to their fullest, the greatest thing we can do for someone is to recognize our responsibility to them and try to make their life the best experience it can be by simply forgetting trivial things and just be honest and happy.

I wish someone had done that for me...because now I'm stuck. Now I can't grieve for my grandmother for some reason and I can't help but feel it's because of all this bullshit that's been going on in my family life. Not only family mind you, but I won't go into all of that...even though most of you know what's goin on anyway. But, it's because I'm so stuck on wanting to go back and make everything right...like I feel like I can still make things right and I hang onto that feeling...but it's because I hang on that I can't move on and accept that I'm going to lose my grandmother...a person who I love unconditionally. And it's all because I have this complex where I can't let go. I mean, here I am with this great view on life...and I can't even accept it myself.

Alright well, I suppose if you've read this whole thing, you probably want to just shoot yourself. I don't blame you. Here's the thing though...first off, you know I don't like to talk about this stuff...that's why I posted it here, so that I won't have to talk this out. Don't leave posts saying "I'm sorry Kyle, cheer up" cause I really am cheered up...I'm not sad or anything...I guess I just sort of got a dose of reality today. I don't want you going away feeling sorry for me or like you have to be nice to me...but I wanted to share this with you because I feel that it's really important that we realize that we're all a part of each other's lives...and while you might feel like you're better than this person or that or...you know you have to hold a grudge against this person and this person talked smack about you so I gotta start shit or...you can't tell this person how you really feel because it might hurt him or her, or I'm afraid of getting hurt...just remember that it's all gonna be cool in the end if you do everything you can to make it that way. Be honest, be civil, even if it hurts...because it'll help you out a lot in the end...when you finally have to deal.

Dear God, whose name I do not know...thank you for my life. I forgot...how big....Thank you. Thank you for my life.

2003-06-04T16:52:00.000-07:00

Return to Me
Ok I know you've all been waiting for a real post from me...like back in the old days when I would write about whatever whenever. Well, the thing is that I haven't written for a while and I feel like if I make a comeback it's gonna have to be with a damn good blog...but the thing is that inspiration hasn't come to me. Ok wait, that's a lie...inspiration has come, but it's come in so many forms that I can't choose what to write about! A lot...believe you me...a lot has happened in the 3 weeks since I wrote a real post...and I've wanted to write about a lot of different things.

Renaissance or Bust(s)
First off, I went to the Renaissance Faire like a week and a half ago. Two things stick in my mind from this experience...white trash and clevage. White trash...most of the people who are involved in this faire are white trash...I'm sorry. We go to this thing and like there are white people only...every now and then we'd see an asian person and there was one black guy who was like a minstrel or something...but yea white people galore. It's not like this is a bad thing...but see, there are two types of people at this place...there are people like me who go there because they haven't been before or haven't been in a long time and it sounds kinda fun, and then there are people who go every year and come fully dressed in 1500's attire. These are the white trash people...people who are die hard weirdos that like the raunchy, sexual overtone that the renaissance carries with it. This raunchiness is shown most through the clevage. See, all the women are wearing these corsettes and everyone has boobs pushed up to the max. And the thing is that all women had this...like pretty ones and not so pretty ones...and the thing is that it's so overt that you have to look at it. They force you to look at the clevage! They even go so far as to stick objects between thier breasts! Like I went to buy a pickle and the lady selling them had a pickle stuck in there and the pickle even had a bite taken out of it...how weird is that? The only possible way I could fully enjoy this faire is if I dressed up myself and got into the weirdo white trash spirit that lies deep...very, very deep...within me.

Old Man Scott
Other than that, I've had problems with reflux lately. For those of you who don't know, acid reflux is a disease that effects that amounts of acids in your stomach, giving you nausia. This disease is normally common in people over the age of 65, but I'm fucked up, so I get stuck taking Mylanta and Tums along with the rest of the geriatric community. Usually, when I get nervous...like before a play or something...it acts up, but it's been going crazy and so every time I get the least bit nervous, it's full on. Like I can't even eat a meal at a restaurant anymore...not that I could ever finish a meal at a mexican restaurant, but I can't even look at the shit anymore without getting queasy.

Dancin With Myself
I went to Leidee's prom the other night and it was pretty fun. I had a good time, but I felt out of place the whole night. I love Leidee and Arlene to death, but I'm never going to someone's prom again...unless it's like Reseda's, because it sucks when you know no one there. See, I'm a pretty social person, but like...you know I take a while getting into the dancing mood...and usually I get there pretty fast and have a lot of fun when I have like Louis around or even Dustin or Peter, like at Arlene's party. But see, I like just had Leidee and a bunch of girls I didn't know...and girls dance so that you can't know whether or not they're having fun. They get all into the music and have this weird look on their face like...yea I'm into the music, but they constantly are looking around...what are they looking for? So like...I didn't know what to do...so I started looking around and I just looked at like how the other guys were dancing and I noticed that guys either dance great or they do like absolutely nothing. And here I am dancing with girls who are lost in the "zone" and I stop looking around just to find that my date has now moved into a group of other dancing girls who are all in the "zone"! And here I am, inadvertantly in a zone of my own...I dunno. And then I got stuck in the back seat of the limo...I didn't even know limos had a back seat...and no, don't think anything...I wasn't there with a girl...me and this guy James got stuck back there and I felt sooo out of the loop. Definitley out of my element. Leidee was a good date though...but the whole thing...I dunno I didn't feel like myself...with the exception that I looked DAMN sexy in my black and white tux.

Stick to Fast Food
Ordering from the menu of a restaurant is becomming more and more stressful. A sit down restaurant is supposed to be a place where you can sit, relax, and not worry about anything...even ordering is supposed to be lax and in a sort of "take your time, sir" manner. But, I dunno...lately it's such a big deal with me. I feel like I'm making the decision of a lifetime when I order. it used to be like...oh, this sounds good, I'll have that. But, it's not that simple...I have to weigh choices based on how I'm feeling during the day. Then of course there are the times where you're at a restaurant at like 11 a.m....and you don't know whether or not to get breakfast or lunch. Then it's more than "what do I want?" it's "what type of meal do I feel like having?" So you're forced to look at the ENTIRE menu and weigh not only choices, but types of choices. Then, just as you are going through this mid-day crisis, the nice waiter turns impatient and keeps comming back with "Are we ready yet?" Who's we? You mean me, you prick! Just say so! I'd even appreciate it if the guy looked at me and said, "Hey, pal...I got a lotta tables...you hail me down when you're ready" instead of making it seem like I'm a bother by constantly checking up. See, this all adds up to a terribly stressful situation and I leave full of something I didn't really want and the need for an asprin.

Epilogue
Ok well, Kyle's back and I feel much, much better now that I've written again. I'll post on a more regular basis now. Thanks for listening. My apologies to the Indian waiter at IHOP...you're a good man.

2003-06-03T14:03:00.000-07:00

PICK OF THE WEEK
Well, some of you will notcie the absolutely beautiful music in the background right now...well, that music is from Joe Versus The Volcano, this week's pick of the week! Yes, thanks to Michael, I was able to put up this sound clip from the movie to give you an idea of what kind of movie Joe is. (See the pic on the left with the moon? This music is from that scene!)

A long time ago, I saw this movie on comedy central or something and I liked it, but I classified it as a silly comedy along the lines of Volunteers or The 'Burbs. Well, I was home yesterday and this was on and I was shocked to fint that this movie goes much, much depper than I had originally thought. I was watching this movie and I was shocked to find that I had never seen any movie like it before. You know, many movies today are just rehashes of a billion other movies just like them, but updated and given different titles. Well, this movie was completely original in that it was different from anything I have ever seen. It is a touching story about love and life, but it's disguised as a low-budget comedy.

In the movie, Joe (Tom Hanks) finds out that he has 6 months to live, so he decides to volunteer to be a human sacrifice by throwing himself into a volcano that requires a human sacrifice every 100 years. The movie is about how Joe decides to finally live life to it's fullest after he finds out he's going to die anyway. On the way to the island, he meets two girls, both played by Meg Ryan, and one he falls in love with. After learning about love and fate, Joe eventually ends up on the island where the volcano is (an island inhabited by indiginous people who drink orange soda and sing "Hava Nagila") and I won't say anything else about what happens.

This movie is full of rich symbols and metaphors which make for a movie experience like no other. Another important part of Joe Versus The Volcano is the music. It's full of original songs and music that is familiar to us all, as well as wonderful scored music. It's not a musical, but the use of music in the movie is really important and the experience of the movie is made more fanciful and whimsical through the music.

Great movie! See, it, I'm blown away.

Kyle's 4-Star Rating: 3 1/2

2003-05-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

Pick Of The Week
Ok, ok...I know I've been gone for quite a while, and I apologize. I really don't have an excuse, considering my computer has been fixed for quite some time now...but because I was thrown out of the routine of updating, I sort of stayed there hehe. But hey, I saw a good movie last night and I'm back to tell you about it.

Do yourself a favor and go see Bruce Almighty. I liked this movie a lot, actually. It felt so much like a movie I'd do. It was a pretty solid movie, with good, witty dialogue and there was just enough of a moral message so that it was noticable, but not enough to make it seem "preachy." Let me tell you, there were plenty of moments in this movie where I found myself laughing out loud at either the expression on Jim Carrey's face or the crazy situation he found himself in after digging his own grave, so to speak. Also, this movie features some great physical comedy from Steven Colbert, fro the Daily Show with John Stewart. This guy is amazingly funny and I was excited to see him play the slimeball in the movie. From great movie spoofs to zany Indiana Schwartz-esque jokes to Jim Carrey dressed up as Mart Twain, this movie really made me enjoy myself, and if you want to go and laugh with some friends at a solid movie, go see Bruce Almighty.

Kyle's 4-Star Rating: 3

2003-05-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

Shut Down?
Hey folks. Well, I know I haven't posted in a few days, but that's because I came home on Wednesday to find that my computer is not working! Yea, apparently the internal power source is messed up, so we have to get a new part or whatever. So, that means I would have had to update here at school, and I wasn't at school from Friday until basically now. So, I thought I'd let you know what's up. Ok, well I have to be going...have to work on my photo final. Later.

2003-05-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

She's mine, Michael...all mine!

2003-05-15T09:45:00.000-07:00

schizotypal

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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2003-05-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

Pick Of The Week
Edward Scissorhands is considered to be Tim Burton's masterpiece. In the late 80's, 20th Century FOX was going bankrupt. So, they launched the FOX network (Channel 11 here) and began giving directors of major motion pictures almost complete creative control. Tim Burton was one of the directors fortunate enough to have caught this opportunity, and we are also fortunate he did, for this allowed him to bring us Edward Scissorhands exactly as he envisioned it. Since then, FOX has grown and the business-side of cinema has effected his recent movies, "maming" (according to Burton) his last film, the remake of Planet of the Apes. But, what we saw in 1990 was pure Burton.

Edward Scissorhands is a creation, much in the fashion of Frankenstein. His inventor wasn't finished with him though, and he gave Edward scissors for hands until he could make hands to replace them. The inventor died before he could, so Edward is now stuck with Scissors for hands. And so, he lives alone in the inventor's castle until one day a suburbian housewife finds Edward and takes him back to her suburbian neighborhood. Once there, the neighbors find out about this unusual guest and his uncanny knack for producing wild hedge animals...and a few other wild and beautiful things with his scissor-hands. Edward, though, no matter how hard he tries, can never truly fit in because he is and always will be different.

This is as close to a fairy tale as modern cinema has gotten in a long time. The film is extremely well made with a ghostly bluish hue and a haunting musical score by Danny Elfman which can only be described as breathtaking. This is one of those movies where every time I see it, I'm always left speechless until minutes after the entire end credits roll. Edward Scissorhands is a touching, personal film filled with the twisted, wild Burton sense of humor and wit, as well as long forgotten beauty.

Kyle's 4 Star Rating: 4

2003-05-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

My Own Brother...
My brother has like poetry or some song or something on his blog. My own brother...my own brother...breaking my # 1 rule of the anti-blog (refer to my 2nd post EVER). I wouldn't care so much, but the thing is that depressing song lyrics cry out teenaged angst and he's only a freshman...that doesn't even really count...teenaged angst doesn't start until you realize how juvinile you were as a freshman. You freshmen out there reading this are probably disagreeing with me, but when you get older and you develope your sense of self, then you'll realize I'm right. Sorry to offend anyone...especially Dustin...cause I know he most likely only has the lyrics on there because the guitar in the song is probably awesome. I'd write more, but I have sociology. Later.

2003-05-14T09:38:00.000-07:00

Edward pics courtesy of Michael...thanks Mike!

2003-05-14T09:33:00.000-07:00

BugseeMalone (a.k.a. STUPID!)
Listen, people. I don't like the screenname BugseeMalone. It's just stupid. I only chose it because the guys at AOL said that when we switched to Roadrunner that we wouldn't be able to keep the same sn. But, that's bullcrap because it's just AIM. But, I got used to using BugseeMalone...but I don't care...I watched Willow last night and Mad Martigan is awesome and I'm going back to it, ya hear? So from, now on, look for me on MaddMartigan!!!

2003-05-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

AHH!

Ahh! I want to make Edward Scissorhands this week's pick of the week, but all the pictures I'm finding all have broken links...I don't know what to do! Please excuse the site today...it's in a state of total dissaray!

2003-05-12T13:28:00.000-07:00

Quickie
Ok, everyone knows that my favorite music is film scores. So, I was wondering...if I were to add a weekly soundtrack review to my blog, how many of you would actually try to download music from the soundtrack pick of the week? If I get a few people to say yes, I'll add the section on. Common guys...you won't regret it. What do you think? I know Michael would like it...and I'm pretty sure Marcela would take time to download some stuff...but would anyone else? Let me know...it was just a thought. Cause I'd like to do it, but if no one cares, I'll forget about it. Ok, later!

2003-05-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

Schwetty Balls, Anyone?

So, I was at work on Saturday and I just finished my last party and I was on my way out, when my dad stopped me and said, "The guy on lane 9 has Schwetty balls." I, of course, had no clue what he was talking about, except that "Schwetty balls" is from a Saturday Night Live sketch with Alec Baldwin. So, I look on lane 9, and sure enough, ALEC BALDWIN WAS THERE! I was so excited! I told Penny, one of the girls I work with, that he was there and she just thought it was funny how overly excited I was. Anyway, so I was waiting for my mom to come get me and I was watching him bowl and talking to my dad when my brother came in to tell me it's time to go. So, as I was leaving, I asked my dad if he could get his autograph for me, but Dad said, "why don't you just go ask him, he's a really nice guy, I don't think he'd mind." So, I did. I went down with a piece of paper and a pen, introduced myself, and asked him for an autograph. He said, "Of course, who do I make it out to?" I said Kyle, and as he was writing the autograph I told him, "You were the best SNL host ever!" And the lady he was with laughed at that and he looked up at me and said, "Oh, you're too kind." Then, when he was done signing, I thanked him and he said, "My pleasure, best of luck to you." And then he offered his hand for a handshake! So, I shook his hand and thanked him again. He was a very nice guy. I mean, some people seem bothered when you go up to them...kinda like Ridley Scott seemed bothered, but Alec Baldwin was very approachable.

So, Yes!!! I met the guy who was in like 4 of my favorite SNL sketches of all time and he has worked with Tim Burton! Ok, well enough for me...more to tell later.

2003-05-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, well most of you know this already, but I have decided that I really haven't done anything...18 yet, even though I've been 18 for...oh, 8 months now. So, what I've decided to do is get a tattoo! Yes, your friend, Kyle Scott, will be a member of the tattoo club in a very short while. I thought long and hard about what tattoo I want, too. At first I had no clue what I wanted. Tracey suggested an I Love Lucy one. At first, I thought that was awesome, but then I thought...no, it's a bit feminine. Good attempt, Tracey. Anyway, I didn't exactly let her pick slide though...I decided to stick with the TV theme. So, I thought maybe Alf would be cool. Then I had a vision of myself in an intimate moment with a member of the other sex and all of a sudden she started laughing at the site of Alf. Yea...I didn't like that vision very much. So I opted against Alf. Then, I was at Magic Mountain and someone suggested the Batsignal. I was pretty much set on that for a while until someone started talking to me about Jaws. Then, I decided that the perfect tattoo for me would have to be a shark...for this is an homage to Steven Spielberg and one of my favorite films of all time...so it shows my inspiration and one of my greatest passions, film. Also, I just think sharks are awesome. Thus began the search for a shark design that I was happy with. Not much came up, believe you me. As a matter of fact, I was kinda doubting the idea myself for a while because I told people I was getting a shark tattoo and they didn't seem to like the idea. But then I found the perfect shark design! So far, people are loving it. So, I decided to put up a pic of the tattoo so you could tell me what you thought, but the pic is under copyright, so you'll have to check out the link.
Click Here and go to the 3rd pic down.
That's it! What do you think?

2003-05-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

Funny Asian Man

What's Your Personality Type?
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2003-05-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

A CHALLENGE?!!??!?!

I don't care what anyone says...I'm damn proud of my blog. You look at some of the xangas or other blogs or whatever and all you'll see is just posts and like "my links" and "archives." But links and archives are like default...they give that section to you. I've worked long and hard on my blog...and I consider it a website. Check this out...I update the blog portion every other day at least...I've got links to some of the funniest sites on the web...I've got a tagboard...the graphics are awesome...I change the pick of the week and the scheme of the website EVERY WEEK. If you haven't been comming to my site very often, start clicking on the archives section and you will see just how much my site changes from week to week. I even have links to other pages that I have made myself...And, to boot, I'm not too bad of a writer, I don't think. You have to admit, this is not like other blogs or diaries...I don't write about my problems here or my day to day minutia...I write about funny entertaining things to keep you guys laughing and entertained.

What's my point? Maybe besides Michael's (because he has that awesome concession stand thing), I have one of the best blogs out there. I look at the other blogs on blogger, and they're all the same, and if you didn't know the person, why would you even stop into read the damn thing? Blogs generally go one of to ways...either they're crap that someone just posts every week or so...or they're like totally up there with great graphics and crap, just because they pay for blog upgrades. But, I happen to believe that I have one of the best non-upgraded blogs ever. I'm sorry...if it sounds like I'm gloating...it's because I am!

Aileen Ventura spoke blasphemy to me last night. For those of you who don't know, Aileen is in first year confirmation and she just joined the choir. Anyway, she claimed that she had the best blog on the web. She said to me, "It's not just a blog...it's a website!" To which I simply replied, "We shall see!"...then Marcela yelled at me to be quiet so we couldn't finish our convo...NEVERTHELESS, the challenge was officially stated! And so, the showdown between Kool "White Shadow" Kyle and Aileen "Ace" Ventura has begun.

...

Now all I need is the link to Aileen's "website" so I can check it out. Hmmm...maybe I should have checked it out before I made this public announcement...hmmm...damn I wish I thought things through. OK! Well, until next time...later good patrons!

(btw...Aileen, if you read this...I'm totally messing...if you read the rest of my blog, you'll know this is just my sense of humor teeheehee...although I would love to check out your site)

2003-05-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

Pick Of The Week
Alright, I really don't think this movie needs much of an introduction. Spaceballs is simply one of the funniest damned movies ever made. Mel Brooks (writer/director) is one of the funniest men alive and his knack for doing wonderful movie spoofs is, so far, unsurpassed. This one has everything, it pokes fun at all of the Star Wars films, Alien, Planet of the Apes, and even other Mel Brooks movies! From opening to closing credits, this movie is full of clever humor and nonstop laughs. Not only that, but it's one of those movies where the performances are so amazing that it gets better every time you watch it (I liken this effect to Three Amigos or Young Frankenstein). Not much else to say other than do yourself a favor and watch Spaceballs...if you've already seen it, good for you! But watch it again anyway! Enjoy...and MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU!

Kyle's Unbias 4 Star Rating: 3
Kyle's Personal 4 Star Rating: 3 1/2

2003-05-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

ahahah...true, but I don't get depressed.
Ge here
http://www.sacwriters.com/quizzes/simpsons.htm

2003-05-06T10:00:00.000-07:00

Sex...teeheehee...ism

"Women are to serve and not to be heard!" - Earl (Kyle Scott), January Sky

Ah, the genius of the Kaye/Scott directing team. That lovely quote you see above is one of my favorite lines from one of my lesser-known films, January Sky. In the film, Dustin (played by Dustin) wants to build rockets, but Earl, Dustin's father (played by yours truly), won't let him. Earl tells Dustin that he belongs in the coal mines. Ma (played by my mom) tells Earl, "Oh, Earl, let the boy have his fun." To which Earl replies (in a wonderful southern "hick" accent), "Now, women are to serve and not to be heard!" Wonderful...beautiful scene. I don't show this film to everyone because I'm a perfectionist and there's not really a version of this movie that I'm completely happy with. The dialogue, story, and performances are nothing less than classic, but in the editing process, the picture and sound quality were shot to hell. So, I don't show this movie that often. Instead, Michael and I have decided to let Indiana Schwartz be our show-off piece.

But, you have to admit, as sexist Earl's comment is, it's actually quite witty on our part. We were trying to get across that Earl was the stereotypical southern father, so we made him stubborn and sexist (actually, the exaggeration of stereotypes is very common in our films, if you pay attention). You see, Earl was just expressing the view that his father probably had on Earl's mother and passed onto him...and it is probably even the view of the southern society that he lives in. So, you can't really blame Earl for being so sexist. In fact, this sort of opens the window for the argument that I was going to make today. I don't like the concept of equality. Ok ok, calm down now. I'm not saying that it would be a bad thing if we were all equal...it would eliminate a lot of problems today...but, let's face it, it sure as hell would make life boring. Let's face facts...there will never be equality. There's always going to be poor people and rich people...there's always going to be gender roles by the very nature of human physiology...there's always going to be class struggle...the fight for equality is pointless and kind of silly. Equal opportunity is a great thing....I'll say that. Everyone deserves a fair shot in the world. But, I mean let's think about this...America started equal opportunity, right? But...America wasn't made for everyone to be free. It was made for white anglo-saxon protestants to be free, yes...but when Thomas Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence, he sure as hell didn't have his slaves in mind or Asians or Indians or Italians or the Irish. No...this country was not made for everyone...but it has become for everyone. This is a wonderful thing...everyone can be free with no hassel...but the thing is that it's nothing but hassel. I'm not saying I'm stubborn and sexist, but I do say that if someone feels the urge to be sexist, shouldn't they be allowed to do so? I mean...it's a paradox...if everyone has the right to not to be the victim of sexism, by that same right, someone should be able to be openly sexist. It's not like sexist and racist comments are nothing but punchlines for Chris Rock movies...it's much more serious than that. The truth is that if you're openly sexist or racist in the professional world, you're toast. Look what happened to Trent Lott...he made what was seen as a racist comment and he lost his position of senate majority leader. This is healthy and good...but what effect does this have on equality? Men and women and blacks and whites and dogs and cats are never going to be seen as equal by either side because both men and women and blacks and whites and dogs and cats are constantly worried about one offending the other...ok, except maybe cats.

Ok, that was a jumble of ideas...but my point is this: if I hold the door open for a girl who's walking by, I risk being thought of as sexist, do you realize that? It's not as crazy as you think...it's true. According to my sociology class, the act of opening a door for a woman is a reflection of the way society views women in whole. I was just trying to be polite! But no...everything always boils down to some deep seeded sexist ideals...I think I'm dominant and I think she should be submissive and I think women are weak just because I opened a door for one of them. What a load of crap...I was just trying to be civil.

You wanna know the truth? You really wanna know? Men already know this...but women are confused, they don't know...they think it has to do with dominance. Do you want to know why we really hold doors open when women walk by? There are two reasons...the first reason we'll hold the door is if we see that someone would possibly be hurt by the door closing too soon...so we hold it. In this case, we'll hold it for a man or woman...doesn't matter...it's just being civil. The second reason we'll hold the door for a woman is simply because she's of the opposite sex and there's always the possibility that we'll be noticed by them for doing the polite thing. Simple as that. Guys, don't deny it...if a dog of a woman is behind you and it's not neccessary to hold the door, do you really stop to hold the door with the thought that she might flash those ugly yellow teeth as she smiles to thank you? No, of course not. Sorry gals, it's just the way it is. Now, I hold the door for pretty much everyone just because I'm polite...and nice guys usually do this. But, I'm not going to lie. I will go out of my way completely to grab the door for a hot girl. I will do anything. I will get up out of my seat and actually exhert effort to do the nice thing to catch a glimpse of those pearly whites as she smiles to thank me.

But tell me...is this so wrong? Why is that so bad? Why am I viewed as a dog for doing this? I know for a fact that girls think about guys as much as guys think about girls. Believe me, I know...I've been on my share of outings with Leeja and Alice to know that it's true. Is it so bad that we want to do something to impress girls? You know, I don't think girls really have a right to call us dogs for doing this when we're the ones who always have to ask the girl out. The guy asks the girl...and that's the way it is. The girl waits for the guy to make a move...because she knows that he knows that if anything's gonna happen, he has to start it. This is the case 9 times out of 10...there's always the exception, but you have to agree with me. So, if we're the ones who have to be agressive, why do you get so upset when we do something out of the blue? Why are we viewed as sex fiends when we hold the door? Why are we viewed as a weirdo when we go up to girls we don't know and introduce ourselves? Hell, if a semi-cute girl came up to me and wanted to talk just because she thought I was cute...that'd be great...that never happens to me! But, I can't go up to some girl and start talking to her out of nowhere because I'm the dirty guy who is just trying to get in her pants, right? Common, that's what you're thinking. Sexism goes both ways, girls...you all think guys are sexist when they try to be polite, and we think you're sexist because you think we're all the same. And why is it that whenever a girl says "all guys are dogs" everyone laughs and says "right on!"? That sucks...not all guys are dogs...what if I said all girls are whores? I'd be viewed as a sexist with girl problems...or gay or something. But would that really be any worse than saying guys are all animals? No. See? Equality can never be realized because we just won't let it...and the people who are trying to reach equality are the biggest hypocrites ever.

2003-05-04T11:52:00.000-07:00

When The Cat's Away
Well, I haven't had too much time to write lately. Ok, well that's a lie...I've had more than enough time. My parents are out of town...they went on a trip for their anniversary. So, I've been online a lot. Thursday and Friday night I stayed online till 12...not because I wanted to neccessarily, but I thought that since they are out of town, I was obligated to take advantage of the situation and stay online as long as possible. Not much to write about though...that's the real reason I was absent. Friday I was supposed to go to a Dodger's game, but it was raining, so we didn't go. Saturday we did the first communion mass...and we ate at IHOP and I had to rush because I was late for work. Yea...good times. Uh, nothing else. I do have a rant in mind, so I'll write it tomorrow. Later.

2003-05-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

...And Didn't Know It
Sometimes I get the urge to write poetry. You know, sometimes we all get into moods, good or bad, and there's not really a way to express it. Well, I happen to enjoy the depth of the english language and taking advantage of it in the form of poetry has always been a fascinating concept to me. The only thing is that it's one hell of an undertaking for a perfectionist. I can't sit down and let words flow...unless I'm mad and I'm ranting to you people. But having words flow and keeping it in rhyme and meter...I just don't have the patience. You need discipline and time...but the thing is that I don't stay in a mood for very long, so I can't write a whole poem because I'll lose inspiration after the first stanza or so. Now, if I were like a free-form poetry writer, then I wouldn't have this problem...but you know how I feel about free-form poetry...that's like expressionist art...a.k.a. people who have the gaul to call anything they want art...even if they don't have the talent to draw a stick figure with correct proportions. I feel that the only true poetry is classical poetry...or at least something that has meter. Robert Frost only wrote in iambic pentameter (ten syllables in each line with emphasis like "da DA da DA da DA da DA da DA"...How do I love thee? Let me count the ways") and I happen to like this particular meter. And actually, if I do write something, it will always be in iambic pentameter.
One time I had an assignment in Mr. Scull's AP English Literature class to write an ode. An ode is a poem of praise of something that uses iambic pentameter and a very specific rhyme scheme. This was really the only time I enjoyed writing a poem and was happy with my result. I think I liked how that poem came out because it wasn't just a flow of emotion, but it was an ode...you see, I was actually talking about something...almost telling a story. So, narrative poetry or or something along the lines of an ode on something is more my kind of poetry. And yet it was still personal...in fact, he asked me to read it in class and I said no, because it was of religious nature and it was kind of personal. So, after arguing for like 10 minutes, he said I didn't have to read it. But then the next day in class, he asked me if he could read my poem to the class because I guess he thought it was good. So, he did, and people were like shocked...like Leeja turned around with this look of "That came from Kyle?" So, Mr. Scull suggested that I like post it online or something...so I did...and it's being published in some anthology poem book. So, I was a one hit poetry wonder. I don't know if I could do that again...maybe one of these days if the mood strikes me just right I'll come out with something...but until then, I'll just continue to enjoy classical poetry the traditional way...by reading and taking in as much as I can...and I'll keep making fun of free-form poetry even more.

2003-05-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

A Guy Named Joe
I'm mad at Joe. You know, as in JoeCartoon.com Joe. Usually, I love Joe. We go way back. I remember when Aaron introduced me to him; I thought he was the funniest guy ever. And, this is not to say he still isn't funny. I amuse myself for hours on end at his site watching crazy gerbil-killing, hick-talking, and reindeer-farting cartoons. But, the man hasn't updated his site in like months. And last time he updated, he added a section to the site for E-Greeting Cards. But, while the section is added, it's been under contruction forever and there's nothing there. I really want him to update the Greeting Card section so I can send out JoeCartoon Cards to everyone and show everybody just how funny a guy Joe really is. Common Joe...finish it! Do it for your old pal, Kyle.

If You're interested, I have a link to JoeCartoon.com on the left hand side of your screen under "funny stuff." It's the link with the picture of the gerbil flipping you off...now if that's not worth a gander, I don't know what is.

2003-04-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

Just A Dope In Your CTVA Class
It's funny how you can see the same people all the time and never actually meet them. You ever walk down the hallways and you notice that some girl always walks the same way that you do..what are you going to go up to her and say, "Hey! We walk the same way every day, let's walk together!" No, that's just bizzare. Even people in your classes...like especially if it's a lecture class...there are people there that you see every day...and they see you...but have you ever spoken to them? No. If you were sitting next to them waiting for a bus or something would you say to them, "Hey, you're in my sociology class! How are ya, buddy?" No. You see, you just don't do those things. But, it's sort of a shame. I mean, I know I'm Mr. Don't-talk-to-me-if-I-don't-know-you but still...some of these people might be great people and you'd never know it. And it's also kinda sad because you do have the chance to say something...because a class setting is definitley an ok place to introduce yourself for some reason or another...except in lecture classes...cause if you sit in front, it's not like you ever realize who sits 6 seats behind you. I mean, for example, today I needed to get a copy of the last page of my syllubus for my CTVA class...and I was gonna ask this girl who I kinda know...she sits in front of me in sociology and she's in my CTVA class, but she's kinda...I dunno...and I didn't wanna ask her...also because she makes fun of the fact that I never go to that class...so that would be embarassing. So, today I went into the library and I couldn't find a computer, but I saw a girl who's in my CTVA class...but I don't know her. I mean, I don't even know her name, I just know that she's in my class. But, see...this would be the ideal situation to get what I need for CTVA. So, I went up to her. I felt like such an idiot thought because I was like, "Hey, you have CTVA 210 today, don't you?" And she was like, "Yeah..." And I said, "Well, I'm in your class...Hi...I was wondering if you had your syllabus with you...cause I need a copy of the last page." You guys, I cannot even begin to explain the look on her face...she was obviously freaked out by me or something...I swear she was thinking "Who the hell is this weirdo and how did he find me?" But she agreed and I thanked her. So, I went and made the copy and I brought it back and thanked her again and I apologized for bothering her...but this time she was much more pleasant. Like, I dunno maybe she decided that I was serious when I actually went and made the copy and didn't try to get her number or something. So, she was like, "Oh, no problem...I have to do things like that all the time...if you ever need anything just ask." At first I was kinda taken aback by that last comment...like..."Ok, what's the trick?" But she seemed sincere...and like as I was leaving she said "Hey!" And I turned...I didn't know what to think...so like I went up to her and was like expecting her to say something, but instead she just looks down at her papers and then back up at me...I didn't know what the hell was happening. Then she said, "You forgot your copies." I felt like such a moron...this was not going well. And whan I feel like I'm being stupid, I tend to act even more clumsy and stupid. So, I go to pick up the copies and I knock her folder off the side of the table. Why am I such a dope? So here I am half laughing, hallf apologizing...I feel myself turning completely red because I just wanna get the hell out of there, but I'm picking up her papers for her...and all the while I'm thinking "I should have just waited for sociology." So, I try to go on my way, but before I could leave, she asks me if I stayed for the whole movie last week (every week we watch a movie in CTVA...last week it was "8 1/2" by Fellini...total crap). I said no, I left right after the overweight belly dancer with the harry armpits was dancing for the kids on the beach. She said she left early, too...she left when all the guys in the sauna were telling him how to act when he meets the cardinal (this is a weird freakin movie, if you haven't gathered by now). Anyway, so she was very conversational and we talked for a few mintes and I finally left. So, I finally did what I never get to do...I met someone in one of my lecture classes! Good thing, too because I don't know anyone in that class really...except for sociology girl, but she sits in the very front and I can't do that in CTVA because I don't agree with my teacher half the time. Anyway, I have that class in like a half hour, so hopefully she'll like sit next to me or something because I could sure use someone to talk to during that 3 hours of crap-happiness.

2003-04-30T13:03:00.000-07:00

Pick Of The Week
Believe it or not, there are people out there who have never seen a Hitchcock movie all the way through. Now, I'm not sure exactly how this happens...in some cases, the person is born in the jungles of Brazil and has no access to electrical appliances such as tevelvisions...in other cases, the person has parents who like to play tricks on their children, so they decided not to expose them to Hitchcock...but most of the time, people just haven't gotten around to actually seeing these movies. Yet, if you think about it, even though not many people nowadays have seen an antire Hitchcock movie, you can ask anyone to name a few Hitchcock movies and you will get at least two answers...Psycho and The Birds. The reason, of course, is because these movies have had such a huge impact on society. I mean, I canot think of any other films that have been parodied as much as these two films (and that's how you know a film is a success...by how much it's parodied). You might not have seen Psycho, but you sure know what happens in the shower scene, don't you? You might not have seen The Birds, but you sure as Hell have seen the scene where Tippi Hedren is in the phone booth during a bird attack (as shown above). Hitchcock may have affected society in a few ways, but to the world of cinema...he did not just "affect" it or "leave an impression" on it...he shaped all cinema that would ever come after it. Films of his such as Rear Window, North By Northwest, Strangers on a Train, and The Man Who Knew Too Much are considered some of the most innovative pieces of cinema ever created. Vertigo is said to be, by many critics, the only flawless film ever made. Rope was the first film ever to be made to look like one long continuous shot. In Frenzy, Hitchcock's continuing love of shocking his audience shows perhaps more here than in any of his other films, for he used overt nudity and the terror of rape to shock and disgust audiences, making them hate the psychotic killer in the film (of course, Hitchcock was way ahead of his time with this one...but Stanley Kubrick would pick up on it later in A Clockwork Orange). Psycho changed the way people go to the movies...before 1960, people would walk into the movie theater in the middle of the film and then stay in the theater until the film began again, and then they would leave when they got to the point where they came in. Well, Hitchcock made it so that theaters would not admit people unless it was the very beginning of the movie...because he did not want people to see only part of the movie and have their suprise ruined. Ever since that film, people see films from the beginning.
The Birds is no exception to this stream of important cinema. The first thing you might notice about the movie is that is has no music. You see, Hitchcock thought that having large action music cues would take away from the suspense of the film...so he made the movie without any music and focused on using only the sounds of the birds to increase the sense of urgency of the situation. Also, the use of composit shots was monumental at the time and are still impressive even by today's standards. But, the fun thing about The Birds is that we see the entire thing unfold before us, from the very first bird attack to the very suprising, and quietly terrifying, end scene.
Hitchcock made all types of movies, from comedy, to espionage thrillers, to some of the greatest horror and suspense films ever. In almost every one of his movies, some new camera angle, special effect, or editing effect was premeired...and many of these effects are still used in movies to this very day. The Birds is one of his finer films and I highly reccomend it to everyone who isn't afraid to be a little creeped out on a Saturday night.
Kyle's 4 Star Rating: 4

2003-04-29T10:36:00.000-07:00

Black-guy-meets-white-guy comedies
For the record, I didn't write this...I wish I did...cause I think exactly like this...but this is, once again, from the genius of Maddox.xmission.com

"Am I the only one who would rather be shot in the face than see another black-guy meets white-guy comedy? It seems like every other month Hollywood blows its load on another one of these black-meets-white crap-a-thons. The plot usually boils down to:

-There is a terrorist organization / Kingpin / Evil Rabbi who is planning to blow-up a yacht full of nuns / assassinate a congressman / conspire with aliens and the only people in the universe who can stop them are a rich, upper-class white cop and a sassy black detective with street smarts.

-They team up due to uncontrollable circumstances and find themselves in many awkward but hilarious situations. For example, there's always the scene where the two cops are in the same car and one of them starts to listen to either rap or country, and the other one has culture shock and acts as if they've never heard of AN ENTIRE GENRE OF POPULAR MUSIC BEFORE. They fiddle around with the radio back and forth and slap each others' hands like a couple of patsies until they finally either break the radio or turn it off.

-There's always a solid 15 minutes devoted to what can best be described as cultural show-and-tell where the two cops teach each other how things are done their own respective ways. A typical scene would be to have the white guy trying to pick a lock and the black guy uses his street smarts to bust the door open. There's always some dumbass in the audience who laughs during this part which pisses me off.

-The chase scene where they come oh-so-close to capturing the bad guy, but conveniently lose him at the 40 minute mark so they have another 45 minutes to jerk us around with depressing filler about the characters' backgrounds. The black guy always has a girlfriend or wife who is killed, and then the audience is expected to overlook all the stereotypes built into the character and say "woah this character is pretty deep." The white guy gains a new perspective and respect for his urban partner.

-THEN SOMETHING OR SOMEONE SUDDENLY EXPLODES TO INTERRUPT THE SCENE BECAUSE IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TRANSITION INTO ANYTHING MEANINGFUL SINCE THEY'VE COMPLETELY LOST THE AUDIENCE AT THIS POINT.

-15 minutes left in the movie, they start to drop hints about where the final showdown will take place, which is unnecessary because it's always in an abandoned warehouse or a steel mill, or an abandoned warehouse inside a steel mill.

-Bad guy gets killed, but not before wounding the black cop in the shoulder and the white cop in the leg. Just as the bad guy has his dying breath, the entire police force / CIA / swat team arrives to clean up and "take over from here." With 5 minutes left in the movie, the two characters reflect on what a great team they make despite their obvious differences, and they end with some patronizing message about black people being able to get along with white people in typical GI Joe "today's-lesson" fashion. The movie fades as they show the white cop dancing to rap music to symbolize his new cultural understanding. I feel sorry for the actors who are all usually very talented, but somehow got sucked into doing another cliched cop movie.

Possibly the only thing worse than black-guy-meets-white-guy movies are east-meets-west movies. Replace every black stereotype with an asian stereotype and you have your typical kung-fu action comedy."

2003-04-29T08:48:00.000-07:00

MADDOX!
Ok, remember that list of 26 things...with the commentary? Well, I got so many comments on that post that I've decided to add the link to the page where I got it from. It's seriously one of the funniest sites I've ever seen...this guy's like me but with the balls to say absolutely anything. The link is called "The Best Page In The Universe" and it has a picture that this guy made...it's Bob Sagget as Satan...go figure. Ok, enjoy! I especially think Marcela will get a kick out of this hehe.

2003-04-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

The Big L
Leeja knows I love her. She's truly one of the best friends I have ever had...that's why I don't think she'd mind me having George W. Bush representing the link to her new Xanga site. Leeja, I tried to be good. I tried to find a Care Bear one, since you have that as your icon...but the link on OriginalIcons.com was broken, so I had to use something that was available...and this one struck me as particularly funny, considering your affinity towards Bush ehehe. Ok, well, check out Leeja's site, she's done quite a job. I'll work on finding a better icon, Leeja, but I have to leave this one up for at least a few days...it's too good to just let go.

2003-04-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

Sakura Says...
Well, Sakura has officially joined the ranks of such geniuses as myself and has started an online journal for herself! Congrats, Shortee! (And you know I must mean it, because I never call you "Shortee") Anyway, her link is on the side with the rest of the links...her is the one with the Alf icon next to it. I like this icon because Alf moves every few seconds and it looks like he's saying "I'm Alf!" Watch him! See?!?! He looks like he's saying it! Anyway, Sakura...I gave you this icon because you made fun of my Alf tattoo idea, so this is my payback. If you are nice to me and maybe if you come up with a decent idea for a replacement icon, I might change it. But I dunno...I do love Alf...

2003-04-24T11:12:00.000-07:00

Pick Of The Week
Well, as most of you can already tell, this week's Pick of the Week is Alex Proyas' Dark City. I actually have to thank Michael for showing me this movie. I first heard of it when Roger Ebert named it his pick for best film of 1998, and since then I had wanted to see it. Finally, Michael saw it and said I had to see it. So, I tried watching it, but it was late and I fell asleep. But, the next day we watched it a second time and I loved it. It's truly one of those movies that is so different and amazing, and in the midst of all the other crap that was comming out, this film stuck out as one of the most inventive films of the 1990's, right next to The Crow, which Alex Proyas also directed. The thing about Dark City is that Proyas' creativity shows in every aspect of the film...from lighting to editing to plot twists...even to the music (which is totally awesome, composed by Trevor Jones...the music is almost continuous throughout the film). In fact, the consistent atmosphere and central plot idea seem to me to be very close to The Matrix, and I wouldn't be suprised if the Wachowksi brothers didn't borrow here and there from Dark City.
Dark City is a pretty freaky movie. Basically it's about this civilization who tests humans to see what makes them "tick" by altering their reality once a day and erasing their memory of it. I know it sounds a bit confusing, but really it's quite thought provoking. Each night, these freaky looking bald guys, whose pictures I have on the side who have names like "Mr. Hand" and "Mr. Book" go around and inject new memories into people...new life experiences...and they play with social roles...one day a man might be a bum, but the next day, they inject new experiences into him and then he's a rich man who lives in a mansion. Well, one time there's a man who finds this out and they try to catch him and put him in his place before he ruins everything and finds the truth of it all...which is revealed at the end. Very cool movie...awesome ending sequence.
Ok well I have to go, but check out Dark City...you will not regret it.
Kyle's 4 Star Rating: 3 1/2...but if you put The Matrix as a 4, then you'll put Dark City as a 4 for sure.

2003-04-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

A BIT HARSH

Ok ok, let me apologize if it sounded like I am angry at you people. I like people reading my blog. When I said "people piss me off" and you took people to mean you people, it's not the case. I was just trying to write an interesting post hehe. K byebye.

2003-04-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

PISSY, ARE WE?
God damnit, I really hate being pissed off. I mean, I know everyone hates to be pissed off, but I really hate it. I hate it more than other people because I really don't ever get into a mood that can be considered "mad." When something angers me, it doesn't last for too terribly long. Like, one moment I'll be totally pissed off at my brother for something and at the time I'll be extremely angry and, considering it's my brother, violent and vulger. Yet, in a few minutes I calm down and I'm back to normal. Like, I don't like to stay in a bad mood. I try to laugh it off as soon as possible. Sometimes you notice people are in a bad mood...so much so that like you'll say hey to them and they don't even answer...what the fuck is that about? I mean, ok you're having a bad day, why do you have to treat me like crap? I'm just trying to be polite. But these people will stay in a bad mood "just because" and then later they use it as an excuse..."oh, sorry I was in a bad mood." I can see that and I do care that you were mad...but you were still a bitch to me for no reason. So, that's why I try to get out of the mood the second I get the chance. Like I'll be mad at my mom in the car on the way to school and I'll be pissed off until I see one of my friends and then I just forget about my mom and begin joking around. Then, later in the day when I see my mom, all is forgotten. But, because of this...because I cannot stay mad or in a bad mood for very long...when I am pissed off, I'm really fucking pissed off. I mean, when I'm mad at something, everything around me suffers. And I scare myself, too. I'll be mad at the fact that I can't find a computer in the library, so I start cursing to myself. Then I start looking at all the people in the room and say to myself "fuck you all." Then I'll see someone who looks silly or something and I'll say "I hate you!" Then I start to imagine myself destroying the computers in the lab by ripping one off of the table and throwing it out the window from the third floor or something...that usually makes me feel a little bit better. But, these are all petty things...everyone imagines these things and everyone says these things to themselves at some point. But when there are people I know around, sometimes they get the blunt end of it. My brother gets it the worst cause sometimes I find him really annoying. I mean, he's my brother, I'm supposed to find him annoying. But sometimes...sometimes he just rubbs me the wrong way when we're in public. Like, all of my friends rely on making fun of each other as sort of a way to bond and joke with each other. And I joke with my brother about things, but the second he says something about me...like poking fun at me, I let the little bastard have it. And I'll yell, too. I feel bad sometimes after I have said things, but at the time, it feels very right.
There are really only two things that get me mad: stubbornness and hipocracy. Stubbornness in the sense that like people insist on going on about something and believing themselves to be right when they really have no god damn idea what they're talking about. Like people who say they hate something "because." Or people who talk shit about movies because "it had no plot." What the hell kind of a critique is that? I'll tell you what kind...a fucking lame one. Then, you try to talk sense to these people and they don't even want to listen to the other opinion. I might have very strong opinions, but when someone has contrary opinions, I will listen to them and try to find reason in their statements. The other thing is hipocracy and this comes in two major forms...stupid and frustrating. Stupid hipocracy is like vegetarians who don't eat red meat, but eat chicken and fish. Does someone want to take a stab at explaining this shit to me? What is eating cows somehow worse that eating chickens? Because the cows suffer more? What? I'll tell you what...you're an attention seeking whore who wants people to double take when you tell them you only eat certain kinds of meat. Frustrating hipocracy is like situational hipocracy. It's when it's not accute or direct hipocracy, but it's more like an entire group is being hipocritical and there's nothing you can do but get pissed to solve the problem, and when you do, people think you're the ass. Like once at choir practice we were like joking around like we always do, but I mean this was bad. I usually start the joking around and try to keep the mood light and interject a remark here and there, but like when the entire group gets off task and nothing gets done and then they want to take a break or something (choir practice is only two hours long and they want like 3 breaks) that pisses me off. So like this one time we were in the cave practicing and Marcela was telling us to get ready for the next song and she was waiting for us to get our shit together and it took like 15 minutes and I started yelling and getting really annoyed because Penelope is blabbing on about some guy, Sakura is talking michelle's ear off, Dustin is fooling around groping Arlene and Leidee and he doesn't even have his guitar out while Benny is over there waiting to begin playing. So, of course, I yell and Penelope won't talk to me for the rest of the night because I was acting like the ass by yelling and Dustin wouldn't talk to me either and begins fooling around every chance he gets just to spite me (and don't think he doesn't do that constantly). Then, after a half hour of this shit...they want a break. Bullhonky.
Now, I'm not talking about anyone specifically, and this was really only one time at choir that I was pissed (don't worry I'm not like disgruntled, Marcela), but people just really piss me off sometimes. And god damnit, I really hate being pissed off.

P.S. If I'm ever in a bad mood, or you notice that I am angry in a blog entry or something, I'm asking you not to comfort me, please. I hate emotional comfort...it's like a crutch or a wheelchair but for complete pussies. Truthfully, I mean I appreciate the thought and it makes me realize I have friends who care blah blah blah all that shit, but I find it almost insulting. I dunno, it's just me. But I don't like it. That's what I mean by the wheelchair reference...if I'm pissed, I want to tough it out myself, thank you very much...let me deal. Also, if I ever seem like I'm in a bad mood, chances are I'm not. Chances are I'm like gassy or something and you think I look like I have a nasty look on my face. Don't ask why I'm in a bad mood. Almost nothing pisses me off as quickly as when someone asks me why I'm in a mood. Ask Leeja, she'll tell ya. Because that means, to me, that someone is finding my presence to be unpleasant for some reason...like I'm not falling in line to their expectations of how the normal person should be acting on a regular day so I'm a bummer on them. So, asking me why I'm in "a mood" when I'm in a perfectly good mood is just a big fucking slap in the face. It pisses me off and god damnit, I really hate being pissed off.

2003-04-22T10:39:00.000-07:00

SPRING FEVER...A.K.A. BULLSHIT

Ok, so Saturday my mom says to me, "You know we should probably iron our clothes for tomorrow since we're leaving early." A reasonable thought...so I agreed. I went into my closet and got out my khaki slacks and black dress shirt. When I brought it out, my mom said to me, "You can't wear black, it's spring." What the Hell? I asked what I was supposed to wear and she said "pastels." I don't even own pastel colored clothing. Wanna know why? Pastels= gay...and I mean the big time Andy Dick kind of gay, too. But I mean, even more than dressing gay, what really bothered me was the fact that just because we have passed a certain day of the calender year, all of a sudden we're supposed to be acting like it's spring. Have any of you gone outside lately? It actually rained yesterday! If you didn't tell me it was spring, I would have thought it was still March...if spring isn't going to change for me, why should I change for spring? Fuck spring. All spring is to me is a whole bunch of people getting sick, constantly sniffing in class during tests, sneezing crap all over you and blaming it on the pollen in the air and sinuses. Suinuses? I don't even believe in sinuses. I think it's a load of crap just like brain-freezes...shit I got to run...I'll write more about brain-freezes later.

2003-04-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

A Serious Matter
It's occured to me that it's about time that I write another serious blog. No, no don't worry...not serious as in "I've reached a serious time in my life and feel like I have to be somber so everyone can see how reflective I am"...bus serious as in I feel like I should state my opinions of certain things very harshly and bluntly and I don't have to care who reads it...and if they do read it, good - maybe some sense will finally reach the American public (for example, my "tree-hugger" blog of 11/15/02 and 11/20/02). But the thing is I have too much respect for you people. Yes, believe it or not, I do care about my readers...I mean, I started this blog for your sake...so that you guys could still listen to be blab and bullshit even though we may be hundreds, even thousands of miles apart...so that you'll feel a little more at home wherever you may be. So, blurting out anything and everything I feel knowing that it might very well offend some of the people who actually read this would just be wrong. Hmmm...what the Hell am I saying? Oh yes, I remember now. So, here's my dilemma...I want to be able to say whatever I want, yet I don't want to offend my friends...and at the same time, I don't want to start like a private blog because what's the point in writing something opinionative if no one's going to read it? I think my problem is that I started this blog as sort of an anti-blog...I didn't want to do the sappy "my life" blog and talk about me and my problems. You wanna know the truth? I was seeing these public blogs and I thought they were too highly personal and I wanted to get as far away from that as possible. So, I started this blog. Yet, this blog is still highly personal, just not in the same way. I mean, all you hear are my opinions...but I talk about other problems and/or funny things that I think you all would appreciate...and that's how I'd like to keep it. The only thing is that sometimes I want to say something political or talk about something that pissed me off, yet sometimes, quite frankly, these things I want to say are really opinions on what my friends have said. And I'm not the kind of person to stay quiet...if I have something to say or if I have an opinion, I will say it to that person...but there's something wrong about posting it to the public for everyone to see. So, you guys might expect for me to talk about this or talk about that in my blog, but you won't always see what you want to see in my blog...so stop asking. I post what I feel like posting. If I say anything that is directly offensive to you, I sincerely apologize...I can't help what I think. I'm sure all of you have thought some judgemental things about me as well...no one's innocent. I just don't wanna hear any whining. Deal? Deal.

Leave A Message...After I Kill Someone
Hey you guys wanna hear something funny? So, I'm in the library here at school on the computer and it's early in the morning so not all of the people at the desk are here yet...and the phone at the front desk starts ringing. And ringing. And ringing. It won't stop ringing. It's been 5 minutes. Why won't it stop ringing? So, I'm here at my computer and I'm freaking out. I'm getting a headache because it won't stop ringing and phones are meant to be picked up...it's actually bothering me that no one is picking up this phone! So, the phone suddenly stops ringing and I let out a relieved sigh...actually I was laughing I was so relieved, you ever do that? Anyway, like 15 seconds pass and it starts to ring again. It rings like 6 times and I yell out real loud, "SOMEONE PICK UP THE PHONE!" and I hear everyone at the computers laugh...so I know they are thinking it too. But no one picked it up! So, I see this girl walk by and I stopped her and said, "hey, are you going to the front?" She said, "yeah." So, I asked her, "Could you please pick up the phone and then hang it up again or something?" She laughed and kept walking. 2 minutes go by...and the phone is still ringing when I see her come back. She didn't do it! So, I gave her the "stink-eye" as she walked by. She laughed again, but I was serious. So, I walk to the front. No one is at the desk. No one is even around and this ringing is now like an electric shock to my brain every time it rings. I grit my teeth and picked up the phone. I yelled into the reciever, "NO ONE'S HERE YET, STOP CALLING, CAN'T YOU TAKE A HINT?" and slammed the reciever down.

There has been no more ringing in the library since. Hopefully, there never will be.

2003-04-21T09:22:00.000-07:00

Spring Break Flamingos or One Hell of a Holiday Ham

Well, I'm sure you guys have noticed...I haven't updated my blog in a whole entire week. Actually, that's not entirely true...on Wednesday, I changed the Pick of the Week to Return of the Jedi, which you guys should really watch. I accidentally put a pic up from the first Star Wars, but I forgot to change it and now I'm too lazy to do anything about it anyhow. So...yes I apologize for not doing anything here over spring break. I was just too damned lazy the whole week to get ANYTHING done. Monday and Tuesday I pretty much just stayed home...I was supposed to go out on Wednesday to the zoo, but that fell through. I was kinda bummed cause I really wanted to see flamingos. But, it's ok cause later in the week I went to Magic Mountain and I went on the Granny Grand Prix ride with Stephanie and they had flamingos there! So I saw flamingos anyway...in a way, these flamingos really embodied the essence of my entire break...I didn't do the things I originally wanted, but I had a great time no matter what I did. SO, I've decided to start a new phrase..."a case of the flamingos"... That's when you didn't get to do what you originally wanted, but something else came up and you had a good time anyway. Yeah Magic Mountain is a fun place. We had a lot of fun...I usually never go to the arcades they have there cause I'm too busy riding roller coasters, but the lines were long, so we were in the arcades a lot. No one could beat Penelope at air hockey...damn Penelope (hehe j/p). Oh and we waited in line for "X" for three hours! But it was sooo worth it. It was one of the most intense experiences I've ever had...awesome ride. If you haven't gone on X yet, you gotta go.

Ok well, nothing more to talk about really except Easter. Had some family over and ate a lot of ham. Ham is good. No, I take that back; ham is amazing. I love ham...especially from the Honeybaked Ham store...which is what we had. Yea...my cousin Emily doesn't eat ham though because her family actually has a pig (ironically named Hammy). So, when she called to wish us a Happy Easter, I made the yearly ham joke and she got mad etc, etc, etc. Yea, gotta love her. And gotta love ham.

2003-04-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wish the world was one huge musical. I sometimes think that like in the world of pets the world is a musical. Like, to us animals never do anything, but in their world they are like singing everything like in Cats or something like that. But, what I mean when I say I want the world to be a musical is that like...if I ever want to just kinda blurt out a song because I get the inclination, I don't want people to look at me weird or offer me a dollar...I want everybody to join in! Like if you've ever seen Muppets Take Manhattan, there's a scene where like Miss Piggy sings a song and like is slowly grows and then the whole chorus joins in. Well, I was just listening to that song and I was thinking...wouldn't it be awesome if I belted out my Miss Piggy impression and started to sing the song...and then like another guy in the library gets up and sings Kermit's part...then some other guy sings Skeeter's part...then like all the librarians and stuff start singing as the chorus...and by the end of the song I have the entire camous singing this song with me. Dude that would be the most amazing thing ever. Also, I love the fact that like I know one verse and then someone else knows the other verse, you know? Like to stick with the muppet movie thing...if I were to start singing the song Saying Goodbye, like right now...what would happen in the musical world is I'd start, right? So I sing the first verse:

Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say
Touching a hand, wondering why
It's time for saying goodbye

Then the chick next to me (who's pretty cute by the way) starts getting all emotional and jazz and comes out with:

Saying goodbye, why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we've had
Much more to say, foolish to try
It's time for saying goodbye

Then, like totally out of nowhere, the girl librarian and the guy librarian both stand up like across the room and finish out the song:

Dont want to leave, but we both know
Sometimes it's better to go
Somehow I know we'll meet again
Not sure quite where, and I dont know just when
You're in my heart, so until then
Wanna smile, wanna cry
Saying goodbye

Then of course, everyone would stand at their computers and sway as the sing the last chorus:

La la la la la la la la
It's time for saying goodbye

Ah man...brings a tear to my eye...

2003-04-10T15:08:00.000-07:00

Ok, I found this online and just had to put it up. This is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. I was laughing outloud in the library this morning when I was reading it for the first time. I will say that this is extremely chauvanistic and I don't agree with a lot of it, but it's funny. It's basically a wish list of how women supposedly want men to act, as if half the men in this country weren't already an episode of Friends away from turning into giant walking vaginas. I've put stars next to the particularly funny ones. Enjoy!

Ok, just to clear this up...all of the comments you read are not my comments! This is some other guy I found online who is saying all this!

26 things a perfect guy would do

I never thought I'd ever read anything that would induce my gag reflex so quickly, and this is after having read the details of an anal prolapse that a friend sent me tonight. Here is the abridged list (because the full list might literally cause you to barf on your keyboard, and frankly, it's not worth reading), followed by my response to each "thing" that a "perfect guy would do":

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down!
When will women realize that they don't live on the set of a romantic comedy? Unless making you smile involves me playing video games while you cook me a steak, you're in for a disappointment. You don't think guys ever feel "down?" The door swings both ways, bitch.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
What? Why the hell would I want to smell a woman's hair? It smells bad enough with all the sprays and perfume they use. Enough with the conditioners, sprays, and cream already; that shit makes my eyes water. What the hell is conditioner anyway?

** 3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
Translation: bail you out when you fail at life, but never bring it up during conversations.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.
This one is inherently stupid because it implies that all guys like to watch "the game." Since I'd rather be shot in the chest with projectile diarrhea than watch "the game," I'll assume the author meant something worthy of watching, such as Ren & Stimpy, in which case you need to put the bitch down if she touches your remote.

** 5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
LAME. Who has time for this? Sounds like something out of a herpes commercial where some lady is rock climbing or doing something else which symbolizes her independence, then out of nowhere she blurts out "I HAVE HERPES." The music gets all serious and you hear a voice over "...there is no cure," cue inspirational music "but treatment is available." Then it cuts to a shot of the bitch on a beach and a guy runs up behind her and puts his arms around her. Good job dumbass, you're dating a skank with herpes.

6. Play with your hair.
Again with the hair? Women never play with the hair on my back, why the double standard?

7. His hands always find yours.
This is one of those things women read and say "AWW HOW ROMANTIC." I have news for you: holding hands is stupid. Women don't know the first thing about being romantic. Only lesbians hold hands anyway; allow me to explain. The only time it's acceptable to hold hands with anyone is if you're at a peace vigil. Guys don't go to peace vigils, period. If you do, you have to surrender your balls and get a sex transplant because you're a bitch; in either case, you're a woman, and when two women hold hands it can only lead to one thing as far as I'm concerned.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.
Bullshit. When I want something, I yell. If she can't hear me in the kitchen, sometimes I'll threaten beatings if I'm sober.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.
For your boobs maybe. I happen to have the uncanny ability to massage breasts. With my mouth.

** 10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
Let's face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples.

** 11. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
See, this is what pisses me off about women: they expect special treatment at their discretion. They want equal rights, equal pay, and equal treatment for everything EXCEPT when it comes to shit like this, then they want you to "react cutely" instead of, say, putting them in a head lock and making them eat ants and/or spiders while you give them carpet burn. Why don't women react "cutely" when men hit them for a change? Oops, I forgot, that's domestic abuse.

12. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
Any guy who would drive five hours just to see a chick for one is an asshole. If every guy drove around for five hours just to spend one with their girlfriend, we'd fill up the air with so much pollution that we'd all choke on the exhaust, get cancer, and then bake under the sun while our lungs rupture and we slowly die from internal bleeding.

13. Stare at you.
You stupid attention seeking whore, just buy the bitch a mirror, because apparently she thinks that you don't have anything better to do than to sit around and stare at her. If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel.

** 14. Call for no reason.
Oops, this one belongs on the list of "Twenty-six things women do that piss men off because they need to fill their otherwise vapid lives with something to make them feel like they have a purpose for existing as they eventually realize that they're pissing their youth away on stupid bullshit like fashion trends."

I can't go on, I'm going to go do something less painful like stick my dick in the oven.

2003-04-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

Well, curtesy of Michael (actually Katie, but Michael showed it to me) there is a new link in the "funny stuff" section to a site called "muffinfilms.com" It's pretty funny, take a look at it.

2003-04-09T10:09:00.000-07:00

PICK OF THE WEEK

Few directors have been able to successfully create films that use every aspect of the film possible to convey a message and get the audience thinking. Sure, lots of movies pose moral and ethical questions just by the very nature of the plot and subject at hand, but few have been able to make a clear statement with every scene, every shot, and every line in the film. Stanley Kubrick is a director who was able to do just this with A Clockwork Orange. Just three years before Clockwork, Kubrick made the quintessential 2001: A Space Odyssey. In that film, Kubrick made us question the very nature of humanity through the enigma of space and time. In Clockwork, Kubrick would make us question the morals and ethics of our everyday society. A Clockwork Orange is about a boy named Alex who, at 15, is the leader of a gang who gets it's thrills through "a bit of the old ultraviolence" (brutally beating innocent civilians, raping quiet homemakers, all that good stuff). Yet, after accidentally killing a woman in her own home, Alex is caught and thrown into prison. To get out of prison early, ALex volunteers himself to take part in a program that will "turn him good." IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE AND DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, DO NOT KEEP READING...JUST GO SEE THE MOVIE. The problem here is that the technique that will turn him good is a process that results in stripping him of his natural human right to choose to do right or wrong. He is no longer a natural human being, but rather he is turned into a machine...like turning the organic form of an orange into clockwork (thus the title...also, the title alludes to an old Cockney sayingfrom East London, "queer as a clockwork orange," indicating something bizarre internally, but appearing natural, human, and normal on the surface).

"Alex's adventures are a kind of psychological myth. Our subconscious finds release in Alex, just as it finds release in dreams. It resents Alex being stifled and repressed by authority, however much our conscious mind recognizes the necessity of doing this." - Stanley Kubrick, 1971

I'll explain the film. One of the major critiques of the film is that "it's too violent" or "it's creepy." Think it's too violent? Think it's creepy to see someone who enjoys raping the innocent without any regard to human emotion? Well, good. Ol' Kubrick has done his job. You see, my father argues "just becaus the movie's violent doesn't make it good." Well, you're right Dad, it doesn't. But the purpose that the violence serves makes it a work of art. You see, Alex is in his own world. In his world, everything is distorted. Brutally beating a bum on the street just to see the "red krovy flow" is a thrill in his world. Raping an innocent woman in front of her disbaled husband while singing and dancing to the song "Singing in the Rain" is absolutely repulsive to us, but to him, it's bliss. He even goes so far as to make up his own language. He makes up his own words like "krovy" for blood and "devotchka" for woman, and when something pleases him, it's "real horrorshow." When he is having a "menage a trois" with two girls he picks up at the local record store, the scene is played in fast motion with a spaced-out techno version of the William Tell Overture. On top of all of this, we find ourselves laughing with Alex whenever he makes a joke or hits one of his buddies in the groin. One of the funniest scenes in the movie (which Kubrick classifies as a comedic satire, by the way) is a scene where Alex is chasing a woman around a room and attacking her with a 3 foot long marble statue of a penis. Another funny thing about the movie is the fact that everything looks so crazy and retro. His parents' house is the model disco 70's house with crazy colors and shag carpet. Another thing you might find interesting is the fact that regardless of how much nudity and sex there is in the movie, there is not one scene that would classify as sensual. Instead, the nudity is so overt that it's almost uncomfortable to watch, but we find ourselves intregued by the way Alex reacts to it. All of the over-the-top violence, crazy camera angles and editing, and downright weird goings on help to put us into the crazy, insane world that Alex has created for himself. Although, Alex has one weakness. He loves classical music, particularly Ludwig Van Beethoven. And this is fascinating because no matter how horrible he treats the world, he is still able to appreciate beauty. He is still a human with the capability to appreciate something beautiful.

This all comes to a hault when he is put in prison. He hears of a process that will make him never do a bad thing again. The minister in the prison is against him going because he feels that this process will deny him the natural ability to choose between right and wrong...this being the very thing that makes us human. And he is right. You see, Alex is put into a program where they sit him down, clamp his eyes open and make him watch movies. Here's the trick: they make him watch movies of violence and rape all day long and they give him injections that make him feel sick. In turn, his body thinks that he is getting sick because he is seeing all of this sex and violence. So, once released from the program, he cannot do anything having to do with sex or violence without getting sick. Also, during these films, they play Beethoven music, so now every time he hears Beethoven he gets sick as well. For example, when they "tested" him for results, they brought out a beautiful naked woman and when he went to reach for her, he all of a sudden got sick. You see, now he isn't even able to do anything "human" anymore...he can't even do the one thing that made him remotely human...appreciate music. Also, he is not able to defend himself at all. What ends up happening is that Alex gets beaten up by the old man who he beat up in the beginning of the film because Alex now can no longer fight back. And, to complicate things further, one time he is beaten up so badly that he has to knock on a door and this old man brings him in out of the goodness of his heart to look after him. The man who took him in, though, was the man in the beginning of the movie who's wife was raped. You see, Alex had raped a woman right in front of her husband. Well, this man was the husband, but he does not recognize Alex because he was wearing a mask at the time. Anyway, this man is writing a book called "A Clockwork Orange." This man is against the government turning people into machines and he has heard of Alex's story and how he cannot do anything human anymore and he feels bad for Alex. But, one time he hears Alex singing "Singing in the Rain" and he puts together that he is the same man who raped and caused the eventual death of his wife. The man is so enraged that he turns on Alex and makes Alex try to kill himself by blasting the Beethoven music that he now cannot stand. You see, now the movie makes a final message of societal hypocracy. It's ironic that the man who was supporting Alex as a prisoner now takes vengeance on Alex for the murder of his wife by taking advantage of what the government did to him. On top of that, we now see a whole bunch of hypocracy everywhere...when Alex wakes from a coma, a doctor and a nurse are having sex in the room next to him and the nurse runs out with no top on and her breasts hanging out. You see, the point here is that people are doing immoral things everywhere...a good man trys to kill Alex and a doctor and a nurse commit adultery and it's so blatent that what they are doing is immoral, but it doesn't seem to matter. I mean, we see the nurse's breasts, but it doesn't matter to us by now because we've seen a million pairs of breasts in this movie by now.

What this movie is really about is how society, the same society that has immorality like adultery and murder and theft and other scandal in the very top ranks of society, feels that they can take away a natural right that was given to Alex...the right to be human and to make choices on his own. Society takes this human being with so much life in him...this orange with so much juice in him...and makes him a machine...turns him into clockwork. By doing this, society becomes just as morally unethical as Alex is.

A single film that can say this much by using every aspect of the filmmaking process possible is the kind of film that artistic filmmakers should strive to do. Just because a movie is weird, doesn't make it good. Just because a movie is brutal beyond anything else, doesn't make it good. But when that theme of brutality is used in every technical aspect - from writing, to acting, to filming, to editing - to make it's message clear (to an audience who will take the time to listen), you have got a masterpiece on your hands. A Clockwork Orange is a masterpiece and a very important piece of cinematic history. You should all see this movie at least once in your life. It's an experience like no other.

Quotes

(Right before beating up the old tramp in the street...the pic on the top right hand corner goes along with this monologue)
Alex (voice-over): One thing I could never stand was to see a filthy, dirty old drunkie, howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going "blerp, blerp" in between, as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, whatever his age might be, but more especially when he was real old like this one was.

(After finding a "phallic artifact" in a woman's apartment)
Alex: Naughty, naughty, naughty. You filthy old soomka!

(Talking about the bible...)
Alex: I didn't so much like the latter part of the book which is more like all preachy talking, than fighting and the old in-out. I liked the parts where these old yahoodies tolchock each other and then drink their Hebrew vino and, then getting on to the bed with their wives' handmaidens. That kept me going. I read all about the scourging and the crowning with thorns and all that, and I could viddy myself helping in and even taking charge of the tolchocking and the nailing in, being dressed in the height of Roman fashion

Kyle's 4 Star Rating: 4

2003-04-08T09:31:00.000-07:00

Hmmm...Tuesday...not too much to report. I went to Arlene's house yesterday to do kareoke! I dunno she invited me so I could do kareoke, but I was under the impression that there was gonna be more people, but it was just like three of us and I felt all uncomfortable belting out a song with like two other people in the room. If there were like a bunch of people in the room, I would have been much better off. Oh well...I'll do better some other time. uh...yea nothing going on...I dyed my hair again. I mean, you know, the usual highlights, nothing spectacular...but I did get a nice haircut. It would have been great to show off my haircut on Friday at the party/club at UCLA...but apparently there has been a snag and I'll have to wait for some other weekend to go partying. Oh well. Wow I'm boring...I'm sure I can whip something exciting up for you...umm...no not now...maybe later.

2003-04-07T09:09:00.000-07:00

MELO YELLOW

So, Sonal's Melo is gone for some reason. Too bad, I got a kick out of reading it, too. If you want, Sonal, you can have a guest-spot on my blog anytime you want to rant at someone/thing. Ok, so here's a weird one. I was crossing Nordhoff today to get to school and there was an accident. It didn't happen right in front of me, it had already happened. But, one of the cars was like flipped over so that it was upside-down and the other one looked as if it has just plowed into a wall. They were already beginning to tow the second car, and I didn't see anyone who looked like they were involved, so either everyone's ok, or it just happened so long ago that they already took everyone away, u know? Anyway, there's a point to this. When I saw the car upside-down, I didn't think like "Oh my God!" like I'm supposed to think. In fact, it didn't even really phase me. What did phase me however was the fact that I was totally unaffected and I know why. When I saw that car upside down, to me it was no different than seeing it in a movie. I mean, I know things like this happen all the time in real life and it is a harsh reality, but to me these things only happen in movies and, in fact, I see it all the time in movies. So, when I saw this real-life tragic event here, it just seemed fake to me - as if it were a movie set - as if I were at Universal Studios and I expect the car to blow up and then put itself back together again. I'm not sure exactly what this means, but I am positive that was it. It just seemed fake to me, and I didn't give it a second thought even though I knew for a fact that it was real.

So, that weirded me out, but you know me...I have temporary moments of serious deep thought followed by a strong urge to tell some stupid joke to lighten things up and move on. So, here goes: what do "Alexander the Great" and "Winnie the Pooh" have in common? They both have the same middle name!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2003-04-04T11:02:00.000-08:00

Ok everyone...You know I have that awesome link "Real Ultimate Power"? Well, if you haven't checked it out...do yourself a favor and at least look at the first page. Then, go to yahoo.com and search for "real ultimate power" and you will find a whole bunch of websites that have the exact same setup as "The Official Ninja Webpage" but they are about weird things. Like instead of ninjas they have sloths, korean guys, and even Conan O'brien. Yea...check it out...it's weird.

2003-04-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

Ok folks, Uh...well first off, I took the quiz on Leeja's profile and my pirate name is Captain Tom Flint. Anyway, on a related topic, on Sunday, April 6th, 2003 at 8:15 p.m. on every Disney owned station on TV they are going to be premiering the new trailer for the Pirates of the Caribbean movie with Johnny Depp, Geoffry Rush, and Orlando Bloom. This is the movie I am looking forward to the most this year, followed closely by Timeline, The Matrix sequels, and The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Pirates is directed by Gore Verbinsky (Mouse Hunt, The Ring) with music by one of my all time favorite composers, Alan Silvestri (Back to the Future, Forrest Gump, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, and believe me, many more). Ok, well yea I don't have much else to write about but that. Have a cool weekend everybody and be sure to watch the premier of the trailer.

From producer Jerry Bruckheimer comes the rollicking live action adventure Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, starring Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, and Orlando Bloom, directed by Gore Verbinski. For the roguish yet charming Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), the crystalline waters of the Caribbean, like the high seas the world over, present a vast playground where adventure and mystery abound. But Jack's idyllic life capsizes after his nemesis, the wily Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), steals his ship, the Black Pearl, and later attacks the town of Port Royal, kidnapping the Governor's (Jonathan Pryce) beautiful daughter, Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley). Elizabeth's childhood friend, Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), joins forces with Jack to commandeer the fastest ship in the British fleet, the HMS Interceptor, in a gallant attempt to rescue her and recapture the Black Pearl. The doe and their motley crew are pursued by Elizabeth's betrothed, the debonair, ambitious Commodore Norrington (Jack Davenport), aboard the HMS Dauntless.

Unbeknownst to Will, there is a curse that has doomed Barbossa and his crew to live forever as the undead, where on each moonlit night, they are transformed into living skeletons. The curse they carry can be broken only if a once-plundered treasure is restored. Stunning visual effects bring these formidable foes to life as our valiant heroes clash mightily with Barbossa and his invincible pirates of the Caribbean.

2003-04-03T10:07:00.000-08:00

New pics added to My Pictures under "Choir!!!" Yea I stole them from Tony. Sorry Tony. Go check me out in action in the Choir! heheh here's just a taste...

2003-04-02T16:10:00.000-08:00

INSANELY BORED

Just sat through two hours of hell. One hour was mindless ranting from my CTVA teacher and the other hour spent taking a test. Now I'm here online and all the buddies who I want to talk to are either not signed on anymore or are busy. Sucks, don't it? I think it does. What am I supposed to do now? Texting costs too much money...and besides I think my text buddy is in some sort of a mood today. Could be me, I dunno. So uh...yea I suppose I'll just hang out for the next hour...on the computer...my butt getting more and more sore by the second...for oh...an hour. Then I'll go home...eat...go to confirmation (probably get a few laughs there)...and come back home. Won't be able to go online then though cause my dad can be an ass sometimes. Maybe I'll work on finishing up Ender's Game. Good book, by the way. Oh crap you don't wanna hear this...it's like an actual blog or something! AHHH!!

2003-04-02T09:47:00.000-08:00

PICK OF THE WEEK

This week's pick has been on TMC for the past week or so, so I thought it was appropriate. Steven Spielberg's Always is one of my personal favorites. The thing is, it's not one of Spielberg's greatest films. It's not as powerful as some of his other films, but for the type of movie that it is, it's really good. It's a lighthearted fantasy/romance/drama that is actually a remake of A Guy Named Joe, a film with Spencer Tracey and Audrey Hepburn (Hepburn is also in Always as an angel...this was her last on-screen appearance). Richard Dreyfuss is a firefighter who is engaged to Holly Hunter. But, Dreyfuss dies in an accident and he has to come back as Hunter's guardian angel. The good news is, he can still be with Holly Hunter, technically, but the bad news is, he has to stand by helplessly as Hunter falls in love with another man. It's a very pretty movie and really sentimental, but it's a small movie as opposed to the grand scope we are used to seeing from Spielberg. But, nevertheless, this is classic Spielberg. It's actually the film that inspired the movie I'm currently writing, for those of you who know about it. The music, of course, is by John Williams and adds a very whimsical atmosphere to the movie. I reccomend this to the girls mostly, but the guys will enjoy it, too for the intense airplane/firefighting scenes and comedy, supplied in part by one of my favorite actors, John Goodman, in a supporting role.
Enjoy!

Kyle's 4-Star Rating: 3 Stars

2003-04-02T09:37:00.000-08:00

I am a people person with people problems. I just got into this whole argument with my mom in the car over how I refuse to take the bus willingly at any point in my life when I have a reasonable alternative. Is this so strange? So wrong? I hate the bus. I hate public transportation. I tried to tell my mom that I just didn't like the bus, but she kept asking why? "What, are you too good for the bus?" I said, "No it's not because I'm too good. I just don't like public transportation." That's an understatement. I hate it. Yes, I hate it because it's dirty and unreliable, but mostly I hate it because I'd be riding in a vehicle with the scum of the earth. I mean, everyone takes the bus - that means the well-to-do as well as the dredge of society. I don't like the fact that I'm sitting next to some smelly person who I don't know whatsoever and all of a sudden have something in common with this person. I mean, I really don't want to take the bus so often that I begin to see the same people all the time, because then it'd be like we have something in common. Like I'd be walking down the street and see some guy and think to myself, "Oh, hey this guy's on my bus." We'd have this sort of link that both of us silently acknowledge. But the truth is, I really don't want a link to these people. It's not necessarily because I think I'm better than them, I know that's how it sounds, but it's more the fact that I didn't chose to have a link to this person, but because I was forced onto this hell-hole on wheels, I now have something in common with this person. Well, I feel that I should have the right not to even subject myself to this situation, ergo I do not take the bus on a regular basis, and furthermore to avoid taking it on a regular basis, I do not take it at all.
Then of course, not only is there this "silent" bond that grows on the bus, but then there are the weirdos who actually want to talk to you on the bus. Now, talking to strangers at some times is appropriate. If you're waiting in line for a ride at a theme park and the line is really long, everyone in the line is in the same boat. We're all waiting for the same thing and we all are in this line for the long haul together. Therefore, if you feel that you want to lean to the person next to you in line and complain about the line or something, this is acceptable. But if you're on a bus, you don't just begin talking to the person for no apparent reason. I mean, I know you have to be polite and all, but I mean it's just common knowledge that none of these people want to get into a conversation with a person they don't know because they might end up regretting it. I HATE having to put up with conversations I don't want to be in. If some crazy guy starts talking to me on the bus, I'm obligated to at least acknowledge him because he's a crazy guy and I don't want to offend the crazy guy. But, did I ask to talk to this guy? NO! I should be able to just not talk to him at all, but once someone starts, you sort of have to at least acknowledge it, otherwise you're the crazy asshole. This sort of reminds me of like when you see people you sort of know or you knew really well, but haven't seen them for a long time...then all of a sudden you run into them. You both feel like, "Ok, I have to stop and talk to this person because we have a link and it's important to acknowledge this link." But, sometimes this is weird. Like one time I saw this person at CSUN who I went to junior high with and i hadn't seen her for years and I wasn't even friends with her to begin with...in fact, we didn't even like each other then. But like I saw her at CSUN and she comes up to me and is like, "Oh, Kyle! Wow, how are you? How have you been? What's new?" What am I supposed to say to that? I mean, a.) am I supposed to fill her in on the past four and a half years? b.) Do I answer as if I just saw her yesterday? Like "Oh, not much." c.) Lie to her and tell her it's great to see her again? No, why should I do that? The truth is that I hardly knew this person and I didn't like her anyway and I don't want to talk to her. But, because we went to the same school, does this give us some sort of bond? Does this make her any more special than the bum on the bus? Why should it? I should just be able to tell her, "You know what? I really don't want to stand here and talk with you, I have better things I could be doing." Can I say that? No, of course not. Why? Because I'm a nice, tactful guy. I mean, I'm sure I sound like a complete ass right now, but seriously we all have felt this way at some point. The point is that I feel that I have the right to not be subjected to this constant uncomfort, so if I don't want to take the bus, I shouldn't have to. And if I don't want to talk to anyone, I shouldn't have to either. But, I have to put up with the world somewhat because I can't just always pick and chose the people I am affiliated with. Damnit...

For any of my friends reading this blog right now, trust me...if you're reading this blog, you're not one of these annoying people. If I don't like you and if you're one of these people who I just put up with, I wouldn't have given you the address to this blog. So a shout-out to all my friends who read this thing. Much love to ya all. Wish me luck I am turning in a sociology paper today worth 25% of my grade hehe. Later gators.

2003-04-01T16:04:00.000-08:00

The facts:

Who's Smarter?
by Cindy Osborne

The Hollywood group is at it again. Holding anti-war rallies, screaming about the Bush Administration, running ads in major newspapers, defaming the President and his Cabinet every chance they get, to anyone and everyone who will listen. They publicly defile them and call them names like "stupid" , "morons", and "idiots". Jessica Lange went so far as to tell a crowd in Spain that she hates President Bush and is embarrassed to be an American.

So, just how ignorant are these people who are running the country? Let's look at the biographies of these "stupid", "ignorant" , "moronic" leaders, and then at the celebrities who are castigating them:

President George W. Bush: Received a Bachelors Degree from Yale University and an MBA from Harvard Business School. He served as an F-102 pilot for the Texas Air National Guard. He was elected Governor on November 8, 1994, with 53.5 percent of the vote. In a historic re-election victory, he became the first Texas Governor to be elected to consecutive four-year terms on November 3, 1998 winning 68.6 percent of the vote. In 1998 Governor Bush won 49 percent of the Hispanic vote, 27 percent of the African-American vote, 27 percent of Democrats and 65 percent of women.

Vice President Dick Cheney earned a B.A. in 1965 and a M.A. in 1966, both in political science. Two years later, he won an American Political Science Association congressional fellowship. In his official role as President of the Senate, Vice President Cheney regularly goes to Capital Hill to meet with Senators and members of the House of Representatives to work on the Administration's legislative goals. In his travels as Vice President, he has seen first hand the great demands the war on terrorism is placing on the men and women of our military, and he is proud of the tremendous job they are doing for the United States of America.

Secretary of State Colin Powell was educated in the New York City public schools, graduating from the City College of New York (CCNY), where he earned a Bachelor's Degree in geology. He also participated in ROTC at CCNY and received a commission as an Army second lieutenant upon graduation in June 1958. His further academic achievements include a Master of Business Administration Degree from George Washington University. Secretary Powell is the recipient of numerous U.S. and foreign military awards and decorations. Secretary Powell's civilian awards include two Presidential Medals of Freedom, the President's Citizens Medal, the Congressional Gold Medal, the Secretary of State Distinguished Service Medal, and the Secretary of Energy Distinguished Service Medal. Several schools and other institutions have been named in his honor and he holds honorary degrees from universities and colleges across the country.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld: attended Princeton University on Scholarship (AB, 1954) and served in the U.S. Navy (1954-57) as a Naval aviator ; Congressional Assistant to Rep. Robert Griffin (R-MI), 1957-59; U.S. Representative, Illinois, 1962-69; Assistant to the President, Director of the Office of Economic Opportunity, Director of the Cost of Living Council, 1969-74; U.S. Ambassador to NATO, 1973-74; head of Presidential Transition Team, 1974; Assistant to the President, Director of White House Office of Operations, White House Chief of Staff, 1974-77; Secretary of Defense, 1975-77.

Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge was raised in a working class family in veterans' public housing in Erie. He earned a scholarship to Harvard, graduating with honors in 1967. After his first year at The Dickinson School of Law, he was drafted into the U.S. Army, where he served as an infantry staff sergeant in Vietnam, earning the Bronze Star for Valor. After returning to Pennsylvania, he earned his Law Degree and was in private practice before becoming Assistant District Attorney in Erie County. He was elected to Congress in 1982. He was the first enlisted Vietnam combat veteran elected to the U.S. House, and was overwhelmingly re-elected six times.

So who are these celebrities? What is their education? What is their experience in affairs of State or in National Security? While I will defend to the death their right to express their opinions, I think that if they are going to call into question the intelligence of our leaders, we should also have all the facts on their educations and background:

Barbra Streisand : Completed high school
Career: Singing and acting

Cher: Dropped out of school in 9th grade.
Career: Singing and acting

Martin Sheen Flunked exam to enter University of Dayton.
Career: Acting

Jessica Lange Dropped out college mid-freshman year.
Career: Acting

Alec Baldwin Dropped out of George Washington U. after scandal
Career: Acting

Julia Roberts Completed high school
Career: Acting

Sean Penn Completed High school
Career: Acting

Susan Sarandon Degree in Drama from Catholic University of America in Washington, D.C.
Career: Acting

Ed Asner Completed High school
Career: Acting

George Clooney Dropped out of University of Kentucky
Career: Acting

Michael Moore Dropped out first year University of Michigan.
Career: Movie Director

Sarah Jessica Parker: Completed High School
Career: Acting

Jennifer Anniston: Completed High School
Career: Acting

Mike Farrell Completed High school
Career: Acting

Janeane Garofelo Dropped out of College.
Career: Stand up comedienne

Larry Hagman Attended Bard College for one year.
Career: Acting

While comparing the education and experience of these two groups, we should also remember that President Bush and his cabinet are briefed daily, even hourly, on the War on Terror and threats to our security. They are privy to information gathered around the world concerning the Middle East, the threats to America, the intentions of terrorists and terrorist-supporting governments. They are in constant communication with the CIA, the FBI, Interpol, NATO, The United Nations, our own military, and that of our allies around the world. We cannot simply believe that we have full knowledge of the threats because we watch CNN!! We cannot believe that we are in any way as informed as our leaders.

These celebrities have no intelligence-gathering agents, no fact-finding groups, no insight into the minds of those who would destroy our country. They only have a deep seated hatred for all things Republican. By nature, and no one knows quite why, the Hollywood elitists detest Conservative views and anything that supports or uplifts the United States of America. The silence was deafening from the Left when Bill Clinton bombed a pharmaceutical factory outside of Khartoum, or when he attacked the Bosnian Serbs in 1995 and 1999. He bombed Serbia itself to get Slobodan Milosevic out of Kosovo, and not a single peace rally was held. When our Rangers were ambushed in Somalia and 18 young American lives were lost, not a peep was heard from Hollywood. Yet now, after our nation has been attacked on its own soil, after 3,000 Americans were killed by freedom-hating terrorists while going about their routine lives, they want to hold rallies against the war. Why the change? Because an honest, God-fearing Republican sits in the White House.

So why the hype out of Hollywood? Could these celebrities believe that since they draw such astronomical salaries, they are entitled to also determine the course of our Nation? That they can make viable decisions concerning war and peace? Did Michael Moore have the backing of the Nation when he recently thanked France, on our behalf, for being a "good enough friend to tell us we were wrong"? I know for certain he was not speaking for me. Does Sean Penn fancy himself a Diplomat, in going to Iraq when we are just weeks away from war? Does he believe that his High School Diploma gives him the knowledge (and the right) to go to a country that is controlled by a maniacal dictator, and speak on behalf of the American people? Or is it the fact that he pulls in more money per year than the average American worker will see in a lifetime? Does his bank account give him clout?

The ultimate irony is that many of these celebrities have made a shambles of their own lives, with drug abuse, alcoholism, numerous marriages and divorces, scrapes with the law, publicized temper tantrums, etc. How dare they pretend to know what is best for an entire nation! What is even more bizarre is how many people in this country will listen and accept their views, simply because they liked them in a certain movie, or have fond memories of an old television sitcom!

2003-03-31T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hey people! Well, I have lots of work to do finish on my day off, but I just have to tell you that Tony has put some cool pics up of the Saint Catherine's Youth Choir! If you want to see pics of me in action at choir, click on the "Saint Catherine's Youth Ministry" link. There are some klassic Kyle pics in there so I suggest you check them out. Ok, ttyl.